American Surrogacy Blog

Many intended parents worry about unexpected expenses, but here’s the truth: with transparent guidance and smart financial planning, you can protect yourself from surprises.

Working with an agency that offers transparent cost breakdowns and financial protection programs means you can move forward toward parenthood without sacrificing your financial security.

Fill out our contact form to connect with a surrogacy specialist who can help you plan confidently and understand the real costs, expected and unexpected, of your journey.

What Are Unexpected Costs in Surrogacy?

Unexpected costs are expenses that arise during your journey that you hadn’t planned for in your initial budget. These aren’t necessarily “surprise” fees. They’re often legitimate expenses that can occur when circumstances change.

Common unexpected costs include:

• Failed matches requiring you to restart your search for a new surrogate
• Additional IVF cycles when the first transfer doesn’t result in pregnancy
• Specialized medical care if your surrogate experiences complications
• Extended legal processesin complicated interstate surrogacy cases
• Travel expenses that exceed initial estimates

The challenge isn’t that these costs exist. It’s that many agencies don’t prepare families to understand when they might occur or how to budget for them. That lack of transparency can turn an already emotional journey into a financial crisis.

Hidden vs. Unexpected Surrogacy Costs: What’s the Difference?

Not all surprise expenses are the same. Understanding the difference helps you evaluate agencies and protect your budget.

Hidden costs are expenses that should be disclosed upfront but aren’t clearly explained. Many agencies bury these fees in fine print or exclude them from initial cost estimates:

• Rematching fees
• Certain legal costs
• Medical expenses outside standard coverage

Unexpected costs are variable expenses that may or may not occur depending on your journey:

• Medical complications requiring specialized care
• Multiple embryo transfers
• Insurance gaps for specific procedures

Hidden costs represent a transparency problem. Unexpected costs represent the natural variability of surrogacy. A good agency will help you prepare for both.

Most Common “Hidden” Costs of Surrogacy

When reviewing agency estimates, watch for these commonly overlooked expenses:

• IVF and embryo creation. Many surrogacy cost estimates focus on agency and surrogate compensation but don’t fully account for fertility clinic fees, which can range from $15,000 to $30,000 per cycle. If you need multiple transfers, these costs multiply quickly.
• Donor eggs or sperm. If you’re using donor eggs, expect to add $25,000 to $30,000 for a fresh donor egg cycle, according to multiple fertility centers and egg donor agencies. Many families don’t realize these expenses often sit outside the standard agency fee structure.
• Newborn medical care. Your baby’s hospital costs may not be fully covered by the surrogate’s insurance policy, depending on the coverage and the specific policy terms.
• Out-of-network medical costs. If your surrogate needs to see specialists or receives care from providers outside her insurance network, those expenses typically fall to you as the intended parent.
• Intended parent travel and lodging. Most estimates include one or two trips for medical appointments and the birth. But what if complications require additional visits? Travel costs add up fast, especially if you’re flying across the country.

The solution isn’t to avoid these costs. It’s to work with an agency that’s upfront about what’s included in their estimate and what you’ll need to budget separately.

How American Surrogacy Protects You from Unexpected Surrogacy Costs

You deserve clarity from day one. Our full-service programs are designed with financial transparency and protection built in.

Our Limited Risk Program provides financial protection against specific risks. This program protects you from financial loss related to:

• Surrogate screening
• Matching
• Refunds for specific case management services when a journey doesn’t work out

These protections help maintain your budget and allow you to continue pursuing surrogacy even after unexpected disruptions occur.

We provide detailed cost breakdowns during your initial consultation. You’ll understand exactly what’s covered and what variable costs you should prepare for. Our specialists walk you through scenarios like multiple transfers or donor egg costs.

Our rigorous surrogate screening process minimizes risks before matching begins.

We never match families before a candidate has been thoroughly screened, including a psychological evaluation. This reduces the likelihood of costly complications later.

What Happens If the Journey Doesn’t Work Out?

“What if this doesn’t work? Will I lose everything I’ve invested?”

This question weighs heavily on intended parents. The answer depends on which program you choose.

Both programs may offer refunds of certain agency fees if your journey doesn’t result in a baby and you have no remaining embryos.

Limited Risk Program

Our most comprehensive and worry-free option. The Limited Risk Program includes vital financial protection and unlimited matching attempts, giving you peace of mind throughout your surrogacy journey.

If a pregnancy isn’t achieved after multiple transfers, you may also qualify for refunds of certain fees.

Foundation Program

A flexible and more affordable choice. The Foundation Program offers lower upfront costs, with additional fees only if a rematch becomes necessary.

It’s a good fit for families seeking to begin their surrogacy journey with a more budget-conscious approach.

Learn more about our full-service programs and how they can protect and fast-track your path to parenthood.

How to Budget for Variable Surrogacy Expenses

Even with a transparent agency, surrogacy involves some variable costs. Here’s how to prepare:

• Review your agency’s contract carefully. Don’t just skim the cost estimate. Read the full contract. Look for language about what happens in specific scenarios: failed transfers, early termination, rematching, or surrogate complications.
• Ask questions before signing anything. If something isn’t clear, ask. Our specialists are here to explain every line item and help you understand best-case and worst-case cost scenarios.
• Create a separate savings buffer. Plan for 10-20% above your agency’s estimate to cover variable costs like additional IVF cycles, donor services, or unexpected travel. This cushion helps you avoid panic if circumstances change.
• Consider financing options. Programs like Sunfish offer surrogacy-specific financing with manageable monthly payments. Learn more about surrogacy financing programs to explore your options.
• Understand your insurance options. Review surrogacy insurance for intended parents to see what policies might cover newborn medical costs or surrogate health expenses not covered by her primary insurance.
• Build in timeline flexibility. Remember that avoiding long wait times often requires flexibility in other areas. Rushing the process can sometimes lead to matches that don’t work out, costing more in the long run.

Questions to Ask Any Surrogacy Agency About Cost Transparency

Before choosing an agency, protect yourself by asking these questions:

• “What’s included in your base agency fee, and what costs extra?”
• “What happens financially if our match fails before pregnancy?”
• “Are rematching fees included, or do we pay separately?”
• “What refunds are available if our journey doesn’t result in a baby?”
• “How do you handle cost overruns if our surrogate has medical complications?”
• “What variable costs should we budget for beyond your estimate?”
• “Do you offer financial protection programs or guarantees?”

An agency committed to transparency will answer these questions clearly and provide detailed documentation to back up their responses. If an agency seems evasive or downplays potential costs, that’s a red flag.

Take the Guesswork Out of Surrogacy Costs

Planning for a surrogacy journey shouldn’t mean choosing between your financial security and your dream of becoming a parent.

When you work with an agency that prioritizes transparency and offers financial protection programs, you can move forward with confidence, knowing you’re protected from the unexpected.

Fill out our contact form to connect with our surrogacy specialists. We’ll walk you through your options and help you create a financial plan that actually works for your family.

You could need anywhere from $38,000 to $87,000+ upfront to begin your surrogacy journey.

But before that number overwhelms you, understand this: what you pay upfront directly shapes how quickly you match with a surrogate, how thoroughly she’s been screened and how protected you are if complications arise.

The right upfront investment isn’t just a fee. It’s the foundation of a smoother, faster path to parenthood.

Have questions about your surrogacy journey? Fill out our contact form to connect with our surrogacy specialists.

What Does the Upfront Surrogacy Fee Cover?

Your activation fee isn’t arbitrary. It funds the critical infrastructure that makes safe, efficient matching possible.

At American Surrogacy, your upfront payment covers:

• Program Activation: This grants you immediate access to our network of pre-screened surrogates and begins your profile creation process.
• Comprehensive Surrogate Screening: Every surrogate undergoes medical, psychological, and background evaluations before you meet her. This means when you’re introduced to a potential match, she’s already been vetted. No surprises, no wasted time.
• Targeted Marketing and Outreach: We actively recruit qualified surrogates in your region through digital campaigns, community partnerships, and referral networks. This proactive approach keeps our surrogate pool robust and reduces your wait time.
• Parent Protection Safeguards: Our Limited Risk Program includes financial protections if your match doesn’t work out, covering surrogate screening, matching, and specific case management services. This helps you continue your journey without repeating costly steps.

Think of the upfront fee as the engine that powers everything else. Without it, we can’t maintain quality screening standards or invest in the marketing needed to find surrogates quickly.

Why Screening and Marketing Matter in an Upfront Fee

The agencies with the shortest wait times are the ones investing heavily in two things before you ever join their program: thorough screening and proactive surrogate recruitment.

That’s how we’re able to help most intended parents in our Foundation Program match within 1 - 4 months and many match even faster.

Here’s how these investments directly impact your wait time:

• Screening prevents delays. When surrogates are medically and psychologically cleared in advance, you avoid the heartbreak of matching with someone who later fails their evaluations.
• Marketing reduces wait times. Our robust surrogate recruitment strategy means we’re constantly adding qualified candidates to our network.

Agencies that delay these upfront investments might seem cheaper initially. But they often leave parents waiting two years or more, and facing unexpected costs when matches fall through due to inadequate screening.

Why Some Agencies Don’t Charge Upfront – and What That Means for You

Some surrogacy agencies advertise lower upfront costs or defer fees until after you’ve matched. Sounds appealing, right?

Reality is, when agencies don’t invest in screening and marketing infrastructure upfront, they’re passing the risk to you.

These agencies often:

• Match you with surrogates who haven’t completed full medical or psychological screenings
• Maintain smaller surrogate pools, leading to longer wait times
• Charge hidden fees later in the process when complications arise
• Offer minimal parent protection if your match falls through

You might save money initially, but you’ll likely pay more in both dollars and stress when delays pile up. Or when you need to start over with a new surrogate.

Quality upfront investment means quality outcomes. That’s why our surrogate screening process is comprehensive before matching, not after.

What If My Surrogacy Match Falls Through?

We recognize that surrogacy involves uncertainties. That’s why we’ve built safety nets into our full-service programs to protect both your investment and your peace of mind.

Foundation Program

This program has a lower upfront cost and traditional fee structure. It offers financial flexibility, but places more risk on the family if a match falls through or the journey changes unexpectedly.

Your costs can increase if multiple transfers are required or if you need to rematch with another surrogate.

Limited Risk Program

This program is designed to protect you from financial loss related to surrogate screening, matching, and specific case management services when a journey doesn’t work out.

These protections help maintain your budget and allow you to continue pursuing surrogacy even after unexpected disruptions occur.

Surrogacy Agencies Can Help You Plan Financially for the Journey Ahead

Quality agencies don’t just collect fees. They help you build a realistic financial roadmap from day one.

At American Surrogacy, we provide:

• Transparent cost breakdowns before you commit, so you know exactly what you’re paying for
• Payment timelines that show when each cost will be due throughout the process
• Budget planning support to help you prepare for contingencies like additional IVF cycles or travel expenses
• Financing options tailored to surrogacy (more on that below)

Understanding your financial commitment upfront allows you to plan confidently, rather than scrambling to cover unexpected costs mid-journey.

How to Budget for Surrogacy Expenses Over Time

Smart budgeting is essential when planning for surrogacy. The total journey typically costs $100,000 - $200,000+, with expenses spread across 12-24 months.

Here’s how to prepare:

• Work with Transparent Agencies: Choose an agency like American Surrogacy that provides detailed cost breakdowns upfront. You’ll never be blindsided by hidden fees.
• Plan for Unexpected Costs: Set aside 10-15% of your total budget for contingencies like additional IVF cycles, legal complications, or travel expenses. This cushion protects you if your surrogate lives far away.
• Consider Household Impact: Don’t forget to factor in future childcare costs, savings goals, and potential income changes. Consider whether one parent plans to take extended leave.

Financial preparedness reduces stress and lets you focus on the emotional aspects of building your family.

Making Surrogacy More Affordable: Financial Options

The upfront costs of surrogacy are significant, but you don’t have to shoulder them alone. Many intended parents combine multiple financial strategies to make surrogacy possible:

Fertility-Specific Financing

We partner with Sunfish, a fertility financing company that offers:

• Low-interest loans specifically for IVF, surrogacy, and egg donation
• Loan amounts up to $100,000
• Flexible repayment terms with no prepayment penalties

Future Family also provides fertility-specific loans with competitive rates tailored to family-building journeys.

Personal Loans

Banks and credit unions offer personal loans that can cover upfront surrogacy costs. These typically have:

• Shorter terms than fertility loans
• Higher interest rates
• Faster approval processes

Grants and Scholarships

Competitive but valuable options include:

• Baby Quest Foundation
• The Cade Foundation
• Men Having Babies (grant program specifically for gay fathers)

Other Resources

• 401(k) loans or hardship withdrawals
• Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) for medical expenses
• Employer fertility benefits through providers like Progyny

Explore surrogacy programs offering financing options to find the right fit for your family.

Take The Next Step With American Surrogacy

Understanding your upfront costs is just the beginning. The right surrogacy partner will help you navigate finances, match you with a thoroughly screened surrogate, and protect your investment every step of the way.

Fill out our contact form today to get personalized financing options and take the first step toward your surrogacy journey with confidence.

You deserve more than generic quotes and hidden fees. You deserve transparency, support, and a clear path forward.

A specialized surrogacy attorney protects your parental rights and prevents costly legal problems down the road.

When you work with someone who truly understands surrogacy law, every detail of your gestational carrier agreement gets reviewed before your surrogate begins medical procedures.

Fill out our form to get personalized help connecting with experienced reproductive law attorneys in your state.

This guide walks through what these services include, when the review happens, and how we connect you with qualified surrogacy law attorneys.

How Surrogacy Contract Review Services Work for Intended Parents

Yes, there are services specifically for this. The important distinction: these services come from reproductive attorneys who specialize in this area of law, not from a surrogacy agency.

We connect you with qualified professionals, but an attorney handles all the drafting and review.

A surrogacy attorney drafts the gestational agreement from scratch, tailoring everything to a specific situation, applicable state laws, and individual circumstances.

Every clause gets reviewed, complex terms are explained in plain language, and negotiations happen on behalf of intended parents.

We’ve built relationships with reputable attorneys across the country who have years of experience with gestational agreements. The law varies considerably by state—that’s why we maintain these connections with professionals who know this field well.

Learn how we connect intended parents with qualified attorneys

Why Intended Parents Need Their Own Surrogacy Attorney

Independent representation protects intended parents in ways that really matter. The surrogate will have her own counsel looking out for her interests, and intended parents need someone just as committed to looking out for theirs.

This separation ensures both parties have the protection needed while keeping a healthy working relationship.

Counsel serves several critical functions. The drafted agreement establishes parental rights from the moment a child is born and covers compensation terms, medical decision-making authority, and contingency plans. Clients learn exactly what gets agreed to before signing anything, eliminating surprises later on.

How Surrogacy Laws Differ by State

What catches many people off guard: laws governing this process are really different depending on location.

Experienced local counsel understands these differences and structures agreements accordingly, explaining whether a state allows pre-birth parentage orders or requires adoption proceedings after a baby is born.

Professional contract review helps prevent disputes that could complicate things later. Clear terms prevent misunderstandings about money, medical decisions, or parental rights before they become problems.

Explore comprehensive legal guidance and resources

What to Expect During the Surrogacy Contract Review Process

Contract review starts after matching with a surrogate. By this point, both parties have completed initial screenings, met and connected, and now it’s time to make everything official before any medical procedures begin.

The timeline usually unfolds like this:

• Initial Draft (2-3 Weeks): An attorney puts together the agreement based on client needs and applicable state laws. This draft includes provisions about surrogate compensation, medical protocols, parental rights, and everyone’s responsibilities throughout the pregnancy and birth.
• Review Phase: Both intended parents and the surrogate work with separate attorneys to go through proposed terms. Counsel reviews every section and explains what it all means.
• Negotiation: Attorneys discuss any concerns or changes either party would like to see. This back-and-forth is normal and healthy. The surrogate’s counsel might ask for adjustments to compensation or delivery preferences. The intended parents’ representative might clarify medical decision-making protocols or insurance coverage.
• Finalization: Once revisions are made and everyone feels good about final terms, both parties sign. Most agencies and fertility clinics need this fully executed document before scheduling embryo transfer.

The whole process usually takes 4-8 weeks from start to finish. Complex situations sometimes push this out a bit. Working with experienced reproductive law professionals who understand this field helps keep things moving.

While eager to get started, this timeline can feel long, but it’s designed to protect everyone. Taking time to get the agreement right now prevents headaches later.

What’s Included in a Surrogacy Agreement

Gestational agreements cover a lot of ground. Familiarizing yourself with these key elements provides better preparation when sitting down with counsel.

Surrogate Compensation

Payment details and escrow agreements make up a big part of the agreement, covering base compensation, monthly allowances, and reimbursement for pregnancy-related expenses.

Payment schedules and provisions for complications appear here.

Medical decision-making authority

This clarifies who makes choices about prenatal care, delivery preferences, and medical interventions. The surrogate maintains autonomy over her own body, but the agreement lays out how communication about major decisions will happen.

Establishing Parental Rights in Your Surrogacy Contract

Arguably the most important part appears here. Intended parents hold full rights to a child from the moment of birth—the section makes this crystal clear.

How birth certificates with the intended parents’ names will be obtained gets spelled out exactly, along with whether a state allows pre-birth parentage orders or requires adoption proceedings.

How Insurance and Medical Costs Are Covered in Surrogacy

Considerable attention goes to verifying the surrogate’s health insurance covers pregnancy, planning for any gaps in coverage, and figuring out who’s responsible for medical bills if complications come up.

Many intended parents carry backup insurance specifically for related expenses.

Medical Decision-Making Rights in Surrogacy Agreements

These clauses cover scenarios nobody wants to think about but everyone needs to be prepared for.

Rather than creating conflict, they ensure everyone knows how difficult decisions would get handled if medical circumstances required them.

Under what circumstances would pregnancy termination be considered, if any? Who gets to make that call? How would a multiple pregnancy be handled if selective reduction becomes medically necessary?

Lifestyle and behavioral expectations

This rounds out the pregnancy provisions, covering prenatal vitamins, activity restrictions, substance avoidance, and medical appointment attendance.

Every detail matters because the agreement forms the foundation for everything that comes next.

How Your Surrogacy Agency Supports Contract Review

While we can’t provide legal services ourselves, we play an important support role during this phase.

Over the years, we’ve built relationships with reputable family-building law professionals across the country, and we connect intended parents with experienced attorneys who understand their state’s regulations.

Our team helps coordinate between intended parents, surrogates, and their respective attorneys—answering questions about our procedures, surrogate compensation processes, and medical protocols so attorneys can draft accurate documents.

With many intended parents having completed their journeys with us, we understand the common concerns that arise and can share what typically happens during the legal process.

Agency Support After Your Contract Is Signed

Throughout the process, intended parents will have a dedicated coordinator who knows the case and can answer non-legal questions about how different terms actually play out. Signing doesn’t end this support—it continues through delivery and establishing parentage.

Support from people who understand both the field and the emotional side makes a real difference. We’re here to help however we can.

Finding the Right Surrogacy Attorney for Your Contract

The right attorney makes a real difference in your surrogacy experience. A qualified reproductive law professional does more than draft documents—they become your advocate, protecting your family’s interests at every stage.

We’ve built a network of experienced family-building law attorneys across the United States who understand state-specific regulations and have years of experience with gestational agreements.

Fill out our form to get personalized help finding an experienced reproductive law attorney in your state.

What happens between you and your surrogate once your baby arrives? Some families become genuine friends and stay close for years. Some exchange holiday cards or occasional photos, then gradually lose touch. The rest say thank you, wish each other well, and move forward separately.

Surrogacy coordinators who understand these dynamics help you figure out what works for your situation. At American Surrogacy, we help families navigate these decisions without overthinking it.

Here’s what post-surrogacy relationships look like, how to keep communication straightforward, and what support you can expect from your agency.

Talk to a Surrogacy Specialist

Understanding Your Relationship with Your Surrogate After Birth

Talk to ten families who’ve been through surrogacy, and you’ll hear ten different stories. How you got along during pregnancy tells you something about what comes next. Connected and became friends? You’ll want to keep that going. More professional relationship? It tends to stay that way. But things shift. What seems right at delivery can look different six months later.

Early conversations with your coordinator about expectations prevent a lot of confusion and awkward moments. They also step in when your needs and your surrogate’s don’t quite align.

How Surrogacy Coordinators Support Post-Birth Relationships

Coordinators do more than logistics—they help with relationships, especially once your baby arrives.

Think of coordinators as neutral third parties who help you work through difficult conversations. Monthly photo updates? Holiday cards only? Annual visits? Having these conversations through your coordinator—or with their help—keeps things from getting awkward.

Sometimes your expectations don’t line up. You assume you’ll stay in touch and your surrogate needs space. Or she wants more contact than you can manage with a newborn.

Having someone in the middle who helps both sides understand each other? That makes a real difference.

At American Surrogacy, our coordinators stay available to help with these conversations, offer perspective, and make sure everyone’s comfortable. We see this ongoing support as part of our responsibility to both you and your surrogate.

Connect with a Coordinator Today

Healthy Communication and Boundaries

Staying in touch after birth works when everyone knows what to expect. But what sounds obvious to you might mean something completely different to your surrogate. Talking about it upfront saves confusion down the line.

Start by thinking about what would suit you. Do you want to share big milestones? Send photos every few months? Or do you need some privacy while you’re getting used to being parents? Your surrogate has preferences too.

While some love getting updates and watching the baby grow, others would rather step back and let your family bond independently. Finding common ground matters most.

When this conversation seems uncomfortable, your coordinator will get it started. They’ll also check in later to make sure everyone’s still on the same page. What works at first won’t necessarily work forever. Adjusting as you go is natural.

Choosing How to Stay Connected

Pick whichever communication method seems most natural. Some people text. Some email. Some send actual cards.

Whatever requires the least effort while still being genuine is probably your best option. Staying in touch should be enjoyable, not like another chore.

When Intended Parents and Surrogates Stay Connected Long-Term

The most meaningful post-surrogacy relationships? They happen when families stay close well beyond those first few months.

What Long-Term Relationships Look Like

What that looks like depends on the people involved. You send photos when your kid hits milestones. She sends a card at Christmas. You meet up for coffee when you’re in the same area, or she comes to birthday parties. Some families consider their surrogate an aunt or godmother.

These friendships work when both people want them, not because you sense an obligation. Trying to force a close relationship rarely goes well. But when it’s natural and both of you put in some effort? It can mean a lot—including to your kid someday when they’re old enough to understand their story.

Hear Surrogacy Success Stories

When Your Surrogate Prefers Limited or No Contact (and Why It’s Not Personal)

Many surrogates want space afterward. It doesn’t mean she regrets anything or doesn’t care about you—it means she’s ready to get back to her regular life.

Pregnancy takes over everything for nine months: appointments, physical changes, hormones, giving up foods and activities. Once the baby’s here, most surrogates want to focus on their own kids, get their body back to normal, and return to their routine. She’s prioritizing self-care.

Some surrogates find that staying in touch makes it harder to move forward emotionally. They need distance to process everything and close that chapter. It doesn’t diminish what she did—she just needs to handle it her own way.

Those bonding chemicals that happen during pregnancy don’t know you’re not keeping the baby. Some surrogates need space to let those feelings settle.

Your surrogate telling you she needs distance? Don’t take it personally. Her request is about her own emotional needs, not her feelings about you or your baby. The best response is respecting that and being grateful.

When It’s Time to Move On: Finding Closure

Not every surrogacy relationship lasts forever. Sometimes the right move is a sincere thank you and goodbye, then moving on with your lives.

People’s lives go in different directions. The closeness from pregnancy fades once everyone returns to normal routines.

You might prefer closing this chapter to focus on your own family, live too far apart for regular contact, or realize you don’t have much in common beyond the surrogacy experience.

Choosing closure doesn’t mean you failed or lack gratitude. You can deeply appreciate what she did without staying in each other’s lives permanently.

Not sure how to handle it? Your coordinator will help. They can set up a final conversation, coordinate exchanging notes or small gifts, or reassure you it’s acceptable to move on.

Some people want a formal goodbye meeting, while others prefer a heartfelt phone call or text. Whatever seems right for you both works.

Talk to a Coordinator About Your Situation

The Role of the Agency After Delivery

Our work at American Surrogacy extends well beyond delivery day. Coordinators stay available for questions, help with difficult conversations, and provide support while everyone adjusts to this transition.

Ongoing Support and Resources

Coordinators answer questions about what’s normal, help you work out boundaries, and give you an outside perspective when emotions are running high. Sometimes you need someone who understands these dynamics to tell you whether what you’re feeling makes sense.

We also connect families with resources that can help during this transition:

• Surrogacy-specialized therapists who understand the unique dynamics of these relationships
• Group sessions where you can process your experience with others
• Peer connections with families who’ve navigated similar situations

We usually check in at two weeks, six weeks, three months, and six months. These check-ins help us spot concerns early and ensure everyone’s doing well.

How to Talk to Your Coordinator About Post-Birth Expectations

Bring this up during pregnancy, ideally in your second trimester. That’s after you’ve gotten to know each other, but before the third trimester when everything gets more stressful. Gives everyone time to think without pressure.

Tell your coordinator what you’re hoping for regarding contact, and ask them to help you have that conversation with your surrogate. That way everyone knows what to expect before delivery.

Your coordinator can help with questions that seem awkward to bring up yourself:

• How often do you want to hear from each other?
• What’s the easiest way to stay in touch?
• Are you both comfortable meeting in person, or would you rather stick to digital communication?
• What happens when someone’s feelings change?

It could be a little uncomfortable at first. But having these conversations now beats dealing with hurt feelings or confusion after your baby’s here and everything’s more emotional.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Relationship Alone

Navigating your relationship with your surrogate involves unfamiliar territory for most people. Professional guidance makes this easier.

Our surrogacy specialists know how to facilitate tough conversations, help you set boundaries that work, and adjust when circumstances change.

Your surrogate did something significant for you. Finding the right way to acknowledge that—whether it’s staying close or parting ways with gratitude—is about being honest about what works.

Our coordinators help you navigate that in a way that respects everyone involved.

Talk to a Surrogacy Specialist

Here’s the thing: finding the right surrogate doesn’t have to feel impossible. When you work with the right agency and understand how matching really works, you can connect with a qualified surrogate in 1-4 months. It’s about knowing what slows things down—and avoiding those pitfalls.

Schedule a consultation today to learn how our pre-screened surrogates and balanced waitlists can help you become a parent faster

Let’s talk about why it is so hard to find a surrogate, what actually makes the difference between a quick match and a painfully long wait, and how we help families skip the frustrating parts.

Why is it So Hard to Match with a Surrogate?

There’s no single answer to why it is so hard to find a surrogate. The challenges of finding a surrogate really depend on which agency you choose and how they run things.

The biggest issue? Simple math. There are way more intended parents looking for surrogates than there are surrogates available.

At a lot of agencies, you’re joining a crowded waitlist where you’re competing with dozens of other hopeful families for the same small group of women.

But here’s what makes it worse: some agencies let you browse and pick surrogates who haven’t even finished screening yet. You might think you’re making progress, but then weeks later you find out she doesn’t qualify—and you’re back to square one after getting your hopes up.

Surrogates are in high demand, but the real question isn’t whether surrogates exist—it’s whether the ones you’re seeing are actually ready to go.

The Surrogate Screening Process—and Why Timing Matters

Understanding the surrogate screening process helps explain why timing matters so much when you’re trying to match with a surrogate. Here’s what real screening looks like:

• Step 1: Initial Basic Screening (ASRM Guidelines): Making sure she meets the basic health, age, and pregnancy history requirements.
• Step 2: Social Questionnaire, Interviews, and Home Assessment: Deep-dive conversations about her life, support system, and why she wants to do this. We visit her home to make sure everything’s stable.
• Step 3: Past Pregnancy Medical Records Review: We look at records from her previous pregnancies to catch any red flags.
• Step 4: Criminal and Background Checks: Everyone’s safety matters—we do thorough background screening.
• Step 5: Psychological Testing and Counseling: A licensed professional makes sure she’s emotionally ready and understands what’s ahead.
• Step 6: Intended Parents’ Clinic Review: Your fertility doctor does their own final medical check based on their specific requirements.

Here’s where other agencies mess up: they let you pick someone after just Step 1, then do the rest of the screening after you’ve already chosen her. Imagine connecting with someone perfect, only to learn weeks later she doesn’t actually qualify. Talk about heartbreaking.

We do things differently. Our surrogates finish Steps 1-5 before you ever see them. So when you’re looking at potential matches, you know she’s truly qualified and ready.

Why Matches Fall Through

Even when you think you’ve found her, things can still fall apart. Here’s why.

Bad screening is usually the culprit. When agencies don’t properly vet surrogates upfront, problems pop up later—medical issues, psych concerns, background problems that should’ve been caught from the start.

Every failed match means starting over and losing months.

Sometimes surrogates drop out, especially if they weren’t really ready to begin with.

Some women start the process without fully understanding how demanding it is. Others have unexpected life stuff come up. When the screening isn’t thorough enough to spot low commitment, more people bail.

And if you try finding a surrogate on your own without an agency? You’re risking scams. Some people actually pretend to be surrogates just to take money from desperate families. An agency protects you from that nightmare.

Becoming a parent faster means avoiding these problems before they happen.

How Agencies Manage Waitlists and Matching

Not all agencies handle waitlists the same way, and this makes a huge difference in how long it takes to find a surrogate.

Some agencies pack their intended parent lists way too full. You’re waiting behind dozens of other families for just a handful of available surrogates. Even if you’re perfect candidates, you could wait months or years simply because others got there first.

We don’t do that. We keep a 1:1 intended parent to surrogate ratio—meaning we’re not bringing in more families than we can actually match. No massive waitlist. No brutal competition.

Our marketing and outreach also sets us apart. We actively recruit qualified surrogates nationwide, which means way more potential matches for you.

This whole system is why intended parents experience the shortest wait times with us. We built everything around cutting out unnecessary delays without sacrificing quality.

How Long Does it Take to Find a Surrogate?

Families find a match within an average of 1–4 months when they work with us. That’s because we maintain a large pool of pre-screened, qualified surrogates and keep our intended parent and surrogate lists balanced.

You’re not competing with hundreds of other families—or wasting time reviewing profiles of women who might not even qualify. Every surrogate you see has already passed medical and psychological screening and is ready to match.

Other agencies often skip pre-screening or overload their waitlists. The result? Long delays, broken matches, and months (or even years) of waiting. Those setbacks can be emotionally exhausting and completely avoidable.

The difference between a 2-month match and a 12-month wait often comes down to one thing—choosing an agency with the right system. At American Surrogacy, that system is already working for families like yours.

How American Surrogacy Supports Intended Parents

You deserve a partner who gets what’s at stake. We know every month of waiting feels eternal when you’re ready for your family.

We help you create a profile that really connects with surrogates—showing who you are, what you value, what makes your family special. A strong profile leads to better, faster matches.

We also offer unlimited matching at no extra cost through our full-service programs. If a match doesn’t work out for any reason, you won’t pay again. That peace of mind matters.

What if finding a surrogate didn’t have to be the hardest part? With the right support, pre-screening, and approach, it doesn’t have to be.

Schedule a consultation today and let us show you exactly how we’ll help you match with a qualified surrogate faster than you thought possible.