Our gestational surrogates come from all kinds of backgrounds. Whether you work a 9-5 career job or you stay at home caring for your children, you may be a candidate for surrogacy.
However, there are some things to consider about each path. In this blog post, we’ll tackle being a surrogate when you’re also a stay-at-home mom. It’s certainly a possibility, and many of our gestational carriers have successfully followed this journey. That’s not to say there aren’t certain things to consider before getting started.
If you are interested in being a surrogate, we encourage you to speak with a surrogacy specialist for free anytime at 1-800-875-BABY(2229). Our staff is always willing to answer your questions and help you make the best decision for your family.
In the meantime, if you are considering surrogacy as a stay-at-home mom, we’d like you to think about these things first:
1. Childcare
As a mom, you are likely used to providing all the childcare in your home. Any errands that need to get done, your kids come with you. Unless you’re going on a date night with your spouse, you probably don’t have the need for additional childcare.
Things will change when you become a surrogate. As a gestational carrier, you will be responsible for attending all kinds of medical appointments. Your children won’t be able to come along. You’ll need to focus solely on your pregnancy at these appointments — not on corralling your children in the waiting room.
For many stay-at-home moms, the childcare that being a surrogate provides can be a nice break from their everyday responsibilities. However, it can also be complicated, especially if you’ve never had anyone care for your kids but you. Your surrogacy compensation will always cover the costs of childcare, but it will be up to you to find an appropriate childcare professional and ensure your children are under their care when you have to be somewhere for appointments.
2. Travel Requirements
You won’t just have to attend prenatal appointments at your local OBGYN. You will also need to travel to complete medical screening and the embryo transfer process of surrogacy.
Whether you are matched with a local intended parent or someone who lives in another state, there’s a high likelihood that their fertility clinic will be located far away from you. So, you will need to take time away from your children and home life for early medical appointments. Depending on the clinic’s location, your medical screening and embryo transfer may require overnight stays.
You will need to coordinate with your spouse and your childcare provider to ensure all of your everyday responsibilities are handled. Remember, your travel expenses will always be covered — but you must be organized enough to take care of your family well before you leave for these appointments.
3. Everyday Responsibilities
Speaking of everyday responsibilities involved in raising children, you will need to consider how your pregnancy might affect your ability to handle these tasks. If you have more than one child, you probably know what it’s like to be pregnant while also maintaining your child-raising duties. But, it’s a bit different when you’re a surrogate.
When you are carrying a baby for someone else, there is an added responsibility. Not only will you be expected to attend all of your medical appointments, you will need to maintain a relationship with your intended parents and follow whatever preferences they set in your surrogacy contract. This can sometimes start to interfere with your daily responsibilities, especially as you get further along in your pregnancy.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help with activities such as cooking and cleaning. You should talk with your spouse and other loved ones in your support system to create a schedule that works for all of you.
4. Bed Rest
Similarly, your everyday responsibilities will get much harder if you are put on bed rest during your pregnancy. While your surrogacy contract will always cover extra costs incurred during a bed rest requirement, there will be some extra emotional and practical stress in this situation.
Ask yourself: How will you and your spouse manage if you are on bed rest during the end of your pregnancy? How will you prepare your children?
Remember, your surrogacy specialist will always be there to support you during the hard parts of your surrogacy journey. Call her anytime at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for more information on bed rest policies and how other surrogates have managed this development.
5. Your Family’s Feelings
Finally, if you are thinking about adding surrogacy to your stay-at-home-mom journey, you must always talk with your immediate family. While you will be the one carrying the intended parents’ baby, your entire family will be affected by your decision — and they must be prepared for the changes to come.
Before you even start the surrogacy journey, we encourage you to sit down with your spouse and your children. Ask them what they think of your interest in surrogacy. Explain what you might expect of them should you choose this path, and give them a chance to ask any questions they may have. Their cooperation and support will be crucial as you choose this journey, so you should have them on your side from the very beginning.
Need some guidance for this conversation? Your surrogacy specialist will always be there to help.
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Being a surrogate as a stay-at-home mom can offer the best of both worlds. You’re spending time with your family like you always do, but you’re also helping to create another family and bringing in some extra income with your surrogate compensation.
Want to learn more about the journey of being a surrogate? Contact our specialists today to get started.