Few experiences feel as isolating as struggling with infertility while everyone around you seems to get pregnant and start families.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions like pregnancy envy, grief or frustration, know that you’re not alone. There are ways to regain control and find hope.

Contact us today to learn how surrogacy could help you build the family you’ve been dreaming of.

This article explores the emotional challenges of infertility, including pregnancy envy and grief, while offering practical coping strategies and family-building options.

It Feels Like Everyone is Pregnant but Me

When it feels like everyone in your life is getting pregnant except for you, try to remember that there isn’t a right or wrong way to feel. Emotions can’t be “correct;” they are what they are, and denying that will only make you feel worse.

By this time, you’re likely emotional over your difficulty conceiving and emotional over the fact that, for everyone else, this process is a walk in the park.

If you’ve been struggling with infertility, you may be experiencing:

• Pregnancy Envy: If you experience jealousy, frustration and sadness after your friends’ or family members’ pregnancy announcements, you may be experiencing pregnancy envy.
• Infertility Grief: Infertility carries a sense of permanence, grief and loss that can be immensely difficult to overcome.

If you’ve experience d failed IVF cycles and are struggling with the emotional toll of IVF, read our article about handling grief after unsuccessful IVF.

How to Cope with Infertility when everyone is Pregnant​

The good news is that no matter how isolating it feels, you are not alone.

Even though it may seem like everyone you know can get pregnant without even trying, the truth is that 1 in 8 women have some level of difficulty conceiving naturally.

Both pregnancy envy and infertility grief can feel profoundly isolating, yet there are many, many women who experience these same feelings as they struggle to build their family.

Dealing with infertility when everyone else is pregnant can feel overwhelming, especially when a few different people in your life are pregnant at once, but there are things you can do to regain control of the situation.

• Acknowledging Your Feelings.  Remember the things you’re feeling are real and valid. You have every right to feel the way you do, and it’s important to experience your emotions as they come.
• Leaning on Family and Friends. Don’t underestimate how good complaining could feel. Studies seem to show that most women experiencing infertility never share it, even with close friends – which can easily increase feelings of isolation.
• Practicing Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a great avenue for emotional comfort, and can be as in-depth or light-weight as you want it to be. Journaling is a great way to center your emotions and better understand yourself. Meditation could also help you identify unwelcome emotions, and learn to experience them without letting them linger. Or you could simply go for a long walk to clear your head.
• Counseling or Therapy. Therapy is a great resource to help you through difficult, emotionally charged times, and can help build resilience, so that in the future these experiences don’t have a debilitating effect on you.

If you don’t know of anyone else who has gone through this, perhaps try gently bringing up your own story with older childless family members, or friends who have never been pregnant. Odds are, you’re not as alone as you may think.

Connecting with others who’ve had similar experiences can provide valuable insight. Consider seeking support through these communities:

• Resolve Peer-Led Support Groups
• John Hopkins Infertility Support Groups
• The Infertility Institute Support Groups

How to Deal with Pregnancy Announcements during Infertility

Many women have wondered why pregnancy announcements can be so triggering after a battle with infertility.

For some, it can be as simple as the fact that either consciously or subconsciously, your friends’ or family’s exciting news brings your own negative emotions and tragic experiences to mind.

Sometimes the best thing to do for yourself is to try to avoid these announcements altogether, at least until you’ve had some time to heal.

You could take a break from social media, and have your spouse screen mail if you’re worried about receiving an announcement card.

Depending on your social life, you can find other ways to limit your exposure to pregnancy announcements. For instance, if your church often announces pregnancies during services, you might excuse yourself during that part.

Dealing With Infertility When Everyone Else is Pregnant

If your best friend is pregnant and you’re infertile, you may have issues ignoring it. For close relationships, like those with friends or siblings, a more direct approach is often necessary.

My Best Friend is Pregnant and I’m Infertile

It can be incredibly painful to learn your friend is pregnant, but it’s important to remember that no matter what you’re feeling now, your friendship can still survive this.

Here are a few tips for dealing with pregnant friends during infertility.

• Communicate: One way to handle your situation is simply to tell your friend what you’re feeling. It may come as a shock at first, but as you begin communicating, it will become easier for both of you to talk about.
• Set Boundaries: If there are some things you would rather not talk about, just let your friend know instead of suffering in silence.
•  Rely on your bond: Strong friendships are hard to break off. Despite these challenges, you can find ways to support your friend during this exciting time in her life.

Dealing with Infertility when Your Sister is Pregnant​

Pregnancy envy can be somewhat extreme when it’s your own family who’s become pregnant.

When a sibling shares her pregnancy after your struggle with infertility, the highs and lows of your joy, sadness, jealousy and even anger could be dizzying.

Try to remember that these feelings are natural and valid, and that your relationship could grow through this difficult time.

• Be Honest and Open: Just like with other friends, clear communication is important. Opening a dialogue with your sibling and sharing what you’re experiencing will help you both come to a full understanding of the situation.
• Set Boundaries: Communicate your limits clearly with your sibling. There may be things you used to talk about or tease each other with that are simply too sensitive right now. They deserve the chance to avoid hurting you.
• Be aware of childhood memories: It’s common for children to play with “baby” dolls and make idealistic plans. Being around your siblings could bring up some once-pleasant memories that appear much more painful in your current context – try to be present and stay in the moment.
• Rely on your shared history. Your sibling and you probably have a strong background. This is only the latest chapter in your rich history, and you’ll get through it together.

While the emotional toll of infertility may be amplified by those around you announcing their pregnancies, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Surrogacy After Infertility

Surrogacy offers a chance to build a family when other methods may not have worked.

Surrogacy is a family-building option where IVF is used to create an embryo using your gametes or a donor’s. The embryo is transferred to a surrogate’s uterus, where it can grow into a baby.

Surrogacy allows intended parents to achieve their dream of parenthood while maintaining a genetic connection to their child in most cases. Here’s why:

• Meeting Basic Qualifications: Surrogates must meet age, health and lifestyle criteria.
• Medical History Review: Your fertility clinic carefully reviews the surrogate’s medical history to confirm she can carry a pregnancy safely.
• Physical and Psychological Screening: Surrogates undergo thorough medical exams and psychological evaluations to ensure they’re physically and emotionally ready for the journey.

While the process can be challenging, especially for someone coping with pregnancy envy, surrogacy offers a beautiful and rewarding path to starting your family.

Infertility is a tough journey, but surrogacy can be the solution you’ve been searching for. Contact us today to start your surrogacy journey or view our highly-qualified surrogates.

With our thorough surrogate screening process and dedicated support, we’ll help you achieve the family you’ve dreamed of.