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National Birth Defects Prevention Month: Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

When you become a surrogate, you’re tasked with one of the most important jobs of all: carrying someone else’s unborn baby. This is a weighty responsibility, and you’re probably wondering about everything there is to know. As January is National Birth Defects Prevention Month, this year, we’d like to put our focus on everything a surrogate needs to know for a healthy pregnancy.

First, here’s what you need to know about potential factors that cause birth defects.

What Causes Birth Defects?

A birth defect can either be very mild or severe. While the causes of one can vary, some of the most common risk factors are:

Genetic or hereditary traits
Lifestyle choices
Untreated infections during pregnancy
Being over the age of 35
A pre-existing medical condition
Exposure to certain chemicals

Finding out that the baby you’re carrying has a birth defect can be scary and overwhelming. But, if this were to happen, your surrogacy specialist will be there for you every step of the way. Your legal contract will also detail what happens moving forward if this unfortunate situation should occur. Remember: As long as you’ve followed your contract, this situation will never be your fault.

Thankfully, there are ways to reduce the likelihood of potential birth defects. Below are some tips to keep in mind during your gestational pregnancy.

7 Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

1. Eat Right

It’s hard to make time for a healthy meal in the middle of your busy schedule. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be a priority. Watching what you eat is one of the most important ways to ensure a healthy pregnancy. It’s also great for you, too! Make sure your plate is full of fresh fruits and veggies, and watch out for some of the most unsafe foods to eat during your pregnancy.

2. Drink Plenty of Water

Drinking enough water isn’t just good for you; it’s also essential for the baby. Water helps carry nutrients, flushes out toxins, and more. Not drinking enough water is also one of the leading causes of premature labor. Generally, you should drink about eight glasses of water a day. If you’re having trouble remembering to drink enough, try setting a reminder on your phone to stay hydrated.

3. Get the right amount of sleep

Your body needs sleep more than you think. You should try to get eight hours of sleep, but it’s okay if you need to take more. After the first trimester, you’ll probably need to start sleeping on your side. It’s common to have sleep problems during your pregnancy, in which case there are some suggestions on how to overcome them. If you have any other questions, don’t forget that you can always reach out to your doctor.

4. Exercise

If you can, try to get at least 30 minutes of activity in a day. We know it’s hard to keep moving, and exercising is probably the last thing you want to do right now, but staying active will help you sleep better and keep your stress levels low. It can also help ease your pregnancy symptoms and make pregnancy and delivery easier on your body. If you can, try to get at a healthy weight before your pregnancy. Some good ideas include walking, swimming and jogging. As long as you don’t overdo your workout, you should be perfectly safe.

5. Vitamins

Prenatal vitamins ensure that you and the baby are getting all of the nutrients you need. Don’t forget that these vitamins need to be taken alongside a meal, not as a substitute. We know that taking your vitamins can be hard to remember, so try setting an alarm on your phone at the same time every day so that you don’t forget. (Don’t forget: All of your medical costs will be covered by the intended parents.)

6. Stay away from harmful substances

There are a few substances that every pregnant woman should know to avoid. Drinking, drugs, and smoking should never be consumed while pregnant, as outlined in your surrogacy contract. There are also a few medications and chemicals that pregnant women need to avoid. Remember to talk to your doctor first before trying any new medication, as it could affect you and the baby.

7. Keep your stress low

With some much going on, and with your body changing in new, unexpected ways, it’s hard to stay positive. An important part of keeping the baby healthy is prioritizing your own mental and emotional health. If you find yourself struggling, remember that you can reach out to a surrogacy specialist or a counselor if you need someone to talk to. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, remember that there people here to help.

These tips are essential for any pregnancy, but they’re especially important when you’re a surrogate. By following just a few steps, you can ensure that your pregnancy will be a safe, healthy experience for you and the baby.

Following these guidelines are extremely important to have a healthy pregnancy. Most of the rules and suggestions will be outlined in your legal contract, too, but please don’t hesitate to reach out to a surrogacy specialist today.

Being a Surrogate With a History of Sexual Assault: What to Know

As you research becoming a gestational carrier, you may be surprised to see one requirement in particular — that every surrogate should not have any “untreated abuse (child, sexual or physical).”

It may seem like common sense that a prospective surrogate should be emotionally and mentally ready for the challenges of surrogacy, but how does a history of sexual assault play into that?

We know this can be a sensitive and complicated topic, so our specialists are always willing to address it personally when you call us at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or contact us online. In the meantime, there are a few things we want you to know — for your own protection as a prospective surrogate.

The Sensitivity of the Surrogacy Process

When you become a gestational carrier, you agree to share the most intimate workings of your body and your life with people who are (at the beginning) complete strangers. It’s a great commitment for anyone, but especially so for someone who is dealing with complicated feelings over the control of their body.

It’s common for survivors of sexual assault and trauma to feel like their body is out of their control. Some women feel that, by becoming a surrogate, they can take back control of their bodies and use them to give an incredible gift to someone else. But, for some, gestational surrogacy can exacerbate those feelings.

The medical process of surrogacy revolves around a surrogate’s cycle, health and overall physical state. It can be frustrating for any woman to feel like her body is being discussed with insensitivity, and the clinical, no-nonsense nature of fertility treatments and procedures can make that worse. These steps can trigger negative experiences for many survivors, even those who generally feel they have successfully moved forward from their trauma. It can be a violating experience for anyone.

If you are a woman who is thinking about being a surrogate, but you have a history of sexual assault or trauma, you need to seriously evaluate your emotional state before moving forward. How will you feel when people talk about your menstrual cycle and the workings of your reproductive system with each other in such a straightforward way? How will you feel having doctors performing procedures on the most vulnerable parts of your body? How will feel having people talk about you — and not necessarily to you?

This is why treatment is so important prior to starting the surrogacy process. It will help you cope with the trauma you have experienced and prepare yourself for the reality of the upcoming experiences you may have.

Rule #1: Be Honest

Here’s what we want you to know: You can absolutely be a surrogate if you have experienced sexual assault or other kinds of sexual trauma in the past. You just have to make sure that trauma is treated and resolved prior to starting the surrogacy process.

Whether or not you’ve been through extensive treatment for a history of sexual assault or trauma, you need to let your specialist know early on in the process about this history. That way, she can ensure you get the support you need and that the intended parents you match with are aware of your situation.

It’s normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable talking about a history of sexual assault — but you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to surrogacy, hiding this history is not a good idea. Whether consciously or not, the truth will come out.

Every surrogate must undergo a mental health evaluation with a trained psychologist. During this evaluation, it’s important to be as open and honest as possible about your history, so your mental health professional can determine whether you are truly ready for the process ahead. Even if you try to avoid the topic, these psychologists can commonly pick up on a history of sexual assault or trauma based on indicators you are not even aware of. That mental health professional will inform your surrogacy specialist, who will likely disqualify you from the rest of the process.

Being honest with your specialist from the start gives you a better chance at successfully reaching your surrogacy goals. Remember, your surrogacy specialist will always be there to help you and will never judge you. They want you to be comfortable and successful in your surrogacy journey, and they want to support you in that however they can. But, for them to do that, it’s important that they’re aware of your personal situation from the beginning.

So, don’t be afraid to apply as a surrogate if you have a history of sexual assault or trauma, but keep in mind the specific challenges this path may hold for you.

For more information on becoming a surrogate with our agency, please contact our specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or submit an informational form online.

Match Disruptions: Why They Happen and How to Avoid Them

In most surrogacies, the matching process goes smoothly: A surrogate and intended parent choose to work together based on mutual goals and preferences, and their partnership develops naturally, ending with the birth of a healthy child at the end of it all.

However, that’s not always the case. Although it’s rare, a match disruption can occur — and it can be a scary situation for surrogates and intended parents.

Here at American Surrogacy, our specialists work hard to reduce the risks of match disruptions and promote healthy partnerships from the very beginning. We also recognize the importance of informing our clients about all aspects of surrogacy. So, here we tackle this rare but complicated situation. What kind of situations cause a match disruption, and what can you do to prevent one from happening?

Good questions. Find the answers below.

Why a Surrogacy Match Disrupts

There is no “one” reason why a surrogacy match disrupts. Life is unpredictable, so the reasons behind a match falling apart are unpredictable, too. But, in our agency’s experience, there are a few major reasons why intended parents and gestational carriers may choose to go their separate ways.

Intended Parents and Gestational Carrier Have Irreconcilable Differences in Opinion

There are many decisions to make when planning a surrogacy journey, and some are more sensitive than others. Everyone has the right to their own opinion about topics such as contact, selective reduction and termination, and other subjects.

Before a surrogate and an intended parent are matched, they must share the same opinion on these topics. Otherwise, a match can quickly fall apart. In most cases, a surrogate and intended parent end their partnership because one party was not fully honest about their thoughts on sensitive topics, or they changed their mind at some point during the pre-surrogacy process. For example, if you have intended parents who would terminate a pregnancy if the child is not expected to survive outside the womb and a surrogate who is wholly against termination in any situation, that partnership is simply not going to work out.

Unexpected Life Changes

It’s possible that both a surrogate and her intended parents are 100 percent in agreement and on board with the surrogacy process, but something completely unexpected can throw the process off. Small life changes can easily be dealt with, but circumstances such as divorce, death, serious relationship issues, and medical malpractice with embryos can stop a surrogacy in its tracks. These situations are no one’s fault but, if it’s too emotionally stressful to move forward, partners may choose to end a surrogacy match in the best interest of all involved.

Unrealistic Expectations

While our surrogacy professionals explain in great detail what surrogates and intended parents can expect from surrogacy, it can be hard to fully comprehend the process until you’re in it. And, unfortunately, some people find out too late that it is more than they can handle.

That’s why our team of specialists works so hard to explain the process and what you can expect before you begin. Surrogacy is not an easy journey, but it is worth it in the end. If you are struggling during your surrogacy journey, remember that your specialist will always be there to support you and get you the help you need to keep your partnership strong.

How to Avoid a Match Disruption

No one wants a surrogacy match to fall apart. Fortunately, there are a few simple and easy steps you can take to strengthen your match and reduce the risk of a disruption occurring:

Be honest about your needs and opinions: The most important part of a successful partnership is shared preferences and goals. Therefore, you must always be honest about your own surrogacy preferences from the very beginning. Don’t try to convince yourself you want something different to try to impress a surrogate or intended parent or speed up your matching process. Whatever your personal goals, you will eventually find someone who shares them. But the only way your specialist can ensure this happens if you are honest about what you want out of surrogacy.
Communicate throughout the surrogacy process: Sometimes, as a person learns more about and actually experiences the surrogacy process, their opinions on certain aspects change. That’s okay — but you must share those changes in opinion with your specialist and your surrogacy partner. If you are uncomfortable at any point during the journey, express those concerns. Only that way can you and your partner work through any issues before they become major roadblocks.
Keep your surrogacy specialist informed: Finally, remember that your specialist is always here for you. They understand the stress and tension you will be under during your journey, and they are happy to provide you with the resources you need. By letting them know right away if something changes, they can help mediate a conversation with your surrogacy partner and hopefully prevent a match disruption from occurring.

For more information on finding a surrogate or intended parent, and how American Surrogacy can help you find the perfect partner, give us a call at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or contact us online today.

Why It’s Important to Be Honest with Your Surrogacy Application

We understand — when you’re applying to be a surrogate, you want to put your best foot forward. No one is perfect, and you may have personal history or circumstances that are less-than-ideal. You may think omitting or lying about them in your surrogate application is no big deal.

It’s actually the complete opposite. It’s a huge deal.

Here at American Surrogacy, we are dedicated to providing a safe and successful surrogacy journey for those women who are eligible. But that’s the key — a safe surrogacy experience is only possible for those who meet certain requirements.

You may think you will be fine moving forward with surrogacy, even if you don’t meet surrogacy requirements, but this is a dangerous situation for all involved. Why? Learn more below.

Why We Set Certain Surrogacy Requirements

American Surrogacy, like all reputable surrogacy professionals, demands that all prospective surrogates meet certain requirements before being approved for this process. Surrogacy is not an easy journey; it requires a great deal of time and energy from a woman, and she must be mentally and physically healthy enough to withstand potential challenges along the way.

Every requirement that our agency sets has an important explanation behind it. They serve to protect you from the emotional and physical risks of surrogacy.

How?

Surrogates must have had one successful previous pregnancy to demonstrate their experience with the pregnancy process and the risks and challenges associated with it.
Surrogates must be done completing their family in case they lose their fertility during the surrogacy process.
Surrogates must have no untreated trauma or abuse, because the intimate dealings of their body will be exposed during surrogacy and allow them little control over what many see as an extremely private process.
Surrogates cannot be on antidepressants or antianxiety medication because of the potential emotional stressors of the surrogacy journey.
Surrogates must not be on state financial assistance to ensure they are not choosing this path simply for the compensation.
Surrogates must be raising their own children at home to alleviate some of mood swings that may result from returning home without a child after childbirth.

These are just a few of the requirements we set at American Surrogacy. Believe us when we say that every little requirement you must meet to become a surrogate has a purpose. Our specialists will be happy to explain them to you and evaluate the possibility of exceptions to be made for your circumstances.

We understand the desire to be a surrogate can seem like enough to overlook some of these requirements, but trust us — they are non-negotiable for your own safety.

Why It’s Important to Be Honest

As mentioned, surrogacy is not easy. It will require you to give up a year of more of your time and a great deal of your energy to become pregnant with and carry an intended parent’s child. There are many moving parts, which means there are also many opportunities for mistakes or delays.

But, when surrogates and intended parents are honest about their backgrounds and hopes and desires for surrogacy, the process moves much more smoothly. The success of surrogacy often centers on the strength of the relationship between the two partners. And that relationship is built on trust and honesty.

To protect yourself and the intended parents you will match with, you must be honest about not only your expectations but also your personal background. That is the only way our team can match you with intended parents who share your preferences and give you a surrogacy experience you are happy with.

The Truth Will Come Out

Every now and then, a woman will apply to our agency. Her paperwork will show that she meets every requirement to become a surrogate — but, upon screening by medical and mental health professionals, it becomes obvious that her personal background and history is not what she says it is. Often, she knows that she does not meet one of the requirements to become a surrogate, and so she instead lied about that requirement on her initial application.

Our surrogates go through extensive screening prior to being approved for the surrogacy process. While we trust our surrogates, it’s for liability reasons that we can’t just accept a woman based on her application alone. Intended parents are looking for a surrogate who can give them the best chance of a successful pregnancy, and it’s our team’s responsibility to ensure that prior to any matching of surrogacy partners.

What we’re trying to say? That at some point along the line, the truth about your personal and medical history will come out. It’s so much better to be honest from the very beginning. If you are, our specialists might be able to work in an exception to the rule. If you wait until later on to tell us — or we find out from a medical professional — you will have wasted a great deal of time and energy, and our team would be very unlikely to let you move forward with the surrogacy process.

We know surrogacy requirements can be frustrating and confusing, especially if you are new to the surrogacy process. Please contact our specialists anytime online or by calling 1-800-875-BABY(2229) for more information on what exceptions may be made for your circumstances.

A Year in Review: The Biggest Surrogacy News From 2019

And, just like that, another year is gone. Here at American Surrogacy, we celebrated many achievements during 2019, and we look forward to those that 2020 will bring, too.

As is our tradition, we take this chance now to look back on what 2019 brought to us and to gestational carriers and intended parents across the U.S. Catch up on what you missed or remind yourself of all the good things that happened here!

At American Surrogacy…

Our surrogacy specialists have been hard at work all year helping intended parents and gestational carriers prepare for the surrogacy process. Since January, they have guided many of our clients through the steps of this journey, from screening to matching to delivery. In fact, we have many gestational carriers and intended parents at different steps in this process as we close out the year.

We are also happy to announce that American Surrogacy helped to bring more babies into the world in 2019 than we did in 2018 — and we are on track to do the same in 2020!

In U.S. Legislation…

As gestational surrogacy becomes more popular across the country, state legislatures continue to update outdated laws to make the family-building process more accessible to all kinds of parents. Here are just a few of the major changes:

Washington State Implements New Legislation: The new year started off with a positive note when Washington state enacted new legislation that: made compensated surrogacy legal and enforceable; set standards for enforceable gestational surrogacy contracts; protected intended parents’ rights to their children; added new requirements for traditional surrogacy; and gave new protections to any child born of the assisted reproduction process. Way to go, Washington!
Nevada Prohibits Surrogacy Discrimination: In response to insurance companies setting coverage exemptions for surrogate pregnancies, Nevada’s State Assembly and Senate passed a law in June that prohibited insurance providers from “denying certain coverage for maternity care because the insured acts as a gestational carrier.”
Virginia Makes Surrogacy Law Gender-Neutral: After a gay couple in Virginia went through a custody battle for their surrogacy-born son, their story inspired a state delegate to file legislation for “Jacob’s Law,” which would protect parental rights of same-sex couples and single parents who used a surrogate in the state. The governor signed the bill into law in June.
Utah Supreme Court Protects LGBT Parents’ Rights: A ruling by the Utah Supreme Court in August made it clear that, just because LGBT intended parents may not have an intended mother in their surrogacy agreement, they can still pursue this family-building process.
The ruling struck the language referring to an intended mother being “unable to bear a child” from legal statute. Now, Utah intended parent couples who do not include intended mothers are afforded all the same protections under marital law as any heterosexual couple.

In other important worldwide news, India officially passed long-in-the-works legislation that bans commercial surrogacy and sets strict requirements for any Indian nationals that want to build their family in this way.

In Pop Culture…

While there are thousands of intended parents and gestational carriers going through this process every day, the most visible journeys are often those completed by people in the public eye.

Here are just a few of the celebrities who used gestational surrogacy to add to their families this year:

Michelle Buteau: The comedian and actress welcomed twins in January. Seven months later, she wrote candidly about her experience with infertility, IVF and gestational surrogacy for Glamour.
Andy Cohen: Bravo host Andy Cohen welcomed his first child — son Benjamin Allen — via surrogate on Feb. 4. He thanked the wonderful surrogate who was “carrying [his] future.”
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: The parents welcomed their fourth child, Psalm, via gestational surrogate on May 9. Psalm is their second child born via surrogacy; their daughter Chicago was born via surrogate in 2018.
Ricky Martin: The singer and his husband Jwan Yosef welcomed their fourth child, born via gestational surrogacy in October. Martin already has a set of twin boys born via surrogacy in 2011 and a daughter also born via surrogacy earlier this year.
Kandi Buress: The “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star and her husband Todd Tucker welcomed their second child together via surrogacy on Nov. 22. Her journey with surrogacy had been documented on the Bravo reality show, and she stated on her Instagram that she felt like she “gained a new friend” with her gestational carrier.

PBS Independent Lens also took an in-depth look into the gestational surrogacy industry with “Made in Boise,” a documentary following four gestational carriers living in Boise, Idaho, and their intended parents. It’s an interesting look at the ups and downs of the surrogacy process in the “unofficial” surrogacy capital of the U.S.

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As we wrap up 2019, our team at American Surrogacy wishes everyone a happy New Year and only the best in the surrogacy journeys to come in 2020!

Is starting your surrogacy journey your New Year’s resolution? Contact our surrogacy specialists today to get started.

How to Support Your Child as They Go Through the Surrogacy Process

Your child approaching you with the news that they’re pursuing surrogacy may be a bit of a shock at first, especially if you didn’t previously know much about this family-building process. But, now that you’ve learned more about the process for gestational surrogates and intended parents, you’re likely getting more and more excited for your child’s upcoming journey.

As a parent, you always worry about your child, no matter how old he or she may be. You’ll want to support and help them however you can in this upcoming journey. Here are some ways to do that, whether your child is an intended parent or a gestational surrogate:

Parents of Intended Parents

If your child has decided to pursue surrogacy as a way to grow his or her family, you may have already endured a long and emotional journey already. Your child may have struggled with infertility, perhaps for years. You’re likely very excited to welcome a grandchild at this point, and your child is even more excited to have a baby!

Throughout the surrogacy process and beyond, here are some ways you can support your child and their spouse, just like you always have:

Supporting Your Children

Surrogacy, like many alternative paths to parenthood, comes with some unknowns and ups and downs. Often, your child may just need you to listen while they vent. No need to fix anything — listening is enough. Offering encouragement and being a calm voice when emotions run high can be invaluable to your son or daughter.

The process can also become very costly, which can be difficult if your child spent a lot of money pursuing fertility treatments prior to surrogacy. Helping your child to fundraise is a great practical way to make a difference.

This is still a relatively new and often-misunderstood family-building method. Take the initiative to educate yourself thoroughly about surrogacy! It’ll save your kids from having to constantly answer questions about the process they’re experiencing, you’ll have a better understanding of what’s happening, and you’ll also be able to serve as their advocate to the rest of the world.

Your family and friends may be curious about your future grandchild, so know how to answer their questions and clear up any myths they may still believe about surrogacy. Your children (and grandchild) will thank you!

Supporting Your Grandchildren

If the intended parents (your children) already have older kids, continuing to shower them with love and support will be even more important during the surrogacy process. Their parents will likely be a little preoccupied with their surrogate and baby, so stepping in to help out and even just remind them how much they’re loved will mean a lot.

This is probably your first grandchild born via surrogate. You might have fears about not loving the baby as much as you would if he or she were born the “traditional” way. Remember: Grandparents via adoption are the perfect example that neither genetics, nor who gives birth to a child, has any effect on how much that child is loved. If you’ve experienced those concerns, they’ll disappear when you meet your grandbaby.

Parents of Surrogates

If your child has made the beautiful decision to become a surrogate for someone, you may be proud of her, but you might also be a little worried. Is this safe? Will your grandchildren be confused by her pregnancy? As her parent, you want to support her and you also want her to be healthy, happy and safe.

Here’s how you can help:

Supporting Your Children

The process of getting pregnant for gestational surrogates is often long, complex, time-consuming and frustrating. She’ll go through fertility treatments, attend a lot of doctor’s appointments, medical screenings and more — all before she even becomes pregnant. Encourage your child, be there to listen if she needs to talk, and let her know how much you admire her for doing something so amazing for another family!

Even though your child’s pregnancy won’t result in a new grandchild for you, she (and her whole family) will still need your help and support. Just like you have with her previous pregnancies, pitching in with tasks around the house like cooking, cleaning or babysitting will mean the world to your daughter and family.

You’ve probably been one of your child’s biggest cheerleaders her whole life. She’ll need you to keep that up, including when she’s not around! Educating yourself about surrogacy so that you can answer other peoples’ questions about the process will ensure they don’t have any misconceptions about the incredible thing your daughter is doing for another family. Speak about her surrogacy journey with pride, and she’ll know how much you love her.

Supporting Your Grandchildren

Your grandkids’ parents will be spending time with the intended parents and attending appointments, and will likely appreciate your babysitting services. And, like during any pregnancy, sometimes kids can feel a little jealous or sad that their parents’ focus is split during surrogacy. Spending some extra time with grandparents can be reassuring for them.

Having your support and encouragement will be so important to your child throughout the surrogacy process. When in doubt, you can always ask your child’s American Surrogacy specialist for advice by calling 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

What’s the Deal with Donated Breastmilk?

Not everyone who wants to breastfeed their child can, and not every woman who produces breastmilk makes only enough for the child she is feeding. When an overabundance of breastmilk and the inability to produce meet, breastmilk donation steps in.

Breastmilk donation has existed in some form or another for centuries. Where wet nurses used to physically breastfeed extra children in the past, parents today have the convenience of having donated breastmilk shipped to their house.

Donated breastmilk is commonly used even among women who conceive and carry their own children, but it’s doubly important in surrogacy. If an intended parent doesn’t want to or cannot induce lactation, but still wants to give their child the benefits of breastmilk, milk banks step in to help out.

We know this topic can be confusing, so we’ve tackled some of the biggest concerns and questions you may have below. For more information, please call our specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) or contact a local milk bank.

How Does Breastmilk Donation Work?

When it comes to donated breastmilk, safety is always the number one priority. It’s ill-advised to donate or obtain breastmilk outside of an official milk bank; there is simply too much possibility for contamination that could ultimately hurt the baby.

Official milk banks such as the Human Milk Banking Association of North America and La Leche League International require donors to pass certain screenings and requirements prior to giving their breastmilk. Typically, donors must:

Commit to a minimum donation amount (usually around 200 ounces)
Complete a phone interview and written health history questionnaire
Receive doctor’s approval from their personal doctor and the baby’s pediatrician (if applicable)
Meet certain health requirements, including abstaining from smoking and drinking
Submit breastmilk for screening and testing, to confirm its safety and quality

After a donor passes the screening tests, the milk bank will send her an insulated box with materials to collect and freeze the milk. Once it is collected back at the bank, it is typically thawed and mixed with milk from other donors to get the optimum balance of nutrients. The milk is then tested again, put into bottles, pasteurized and screened for bacteria.

Only after all of this is completed can donated breastmilk be distributed. It may be sent to hospitals or purchased by individuals for use. Some nonprofit milk banks will only offer donated milk to individuals once they have met the needs of premature babies and babies with other serious medical conditions currently hospitalized.

If You’re a Surrogate:

If you are considering donating your breastmilk after your surrogacy journey, we encourage you to speak with your surrogacy specialist. If you haven’t already talked to your intended parents about this desire, it’s a good idea to discuss it with them, too — they may be willing to accept your donation and pay you extra compensation for it.

Not all intended parents want donated breastmilk, and that’s OK. Their decision is not a comment on you as a surrogate. If they decline your offer, you can still help other new parents by donating your breastmilk through your hospital or a nonprofit milk bank.

Before you make this commitment, talk to your doctor. They can evaluate your health and ensure that this path is the best one for you.

You should also ask yourself these questions:

Can I commit to pumping a minimum of breastmilk as defined by the milk bank I use?
Am I ready for the time commitment of pumping throughout the day and the night?
Am I prepared for the extra steps of washing and sanitizing pumps and bottles more than I might when pumping for my own child?
Am I mentally and physically healthy enough for this commitment?

Not every surrogate chooses to pump and donate her milk, and that’s OK. If you would rather stop your production, let your doctor know during your pregnancy. She can help you get the medication you need to safely and comfortably suppress lactation.

If You’re an Intended Parent:

If you are an intended mother, it’s likely that you want to try inducing lactation before buying donated breastmilk. After all, you’ve already missed out on the pregnancy experience, and don’t want to miss out on the bonding experience of breastfeeding, too.

It’s actually very common for intended parents to breastfeed their own children. But, just as women who naturally produce breastmilk do, intended parents can have difficulties lactating, as well. It’s a good idea to have a backup plan if this occurs with you: Will you switch to formula, or would you like your surrogate to pump milk for you?

Many surrogates are happy to pump milk for their intended parents. You will be expected to compensate her for her time and effort, and this should be a discussion that happens as part of your surrogacy contract. Asking your surrogate to donate her breastmilk will likely be a better path than trying to buy breastmilk from a donation bank, due to supply and demand inequalities in the industry.

If you are interested in having your surrogate pump for your baby, please reach out to your surrogacy specialist. They can help mediate this conversation and ensure all parties are comfortable with the agreement going forward.

10 Holiday Gift Ideas for Surrogates

The holiday season is a wonderful time to show your loved ones that you care. If you have a friend or family member who is or has been a surrogate, you may be wondering what unique present you can get her this year. If you’re the intended parent, the pressure to find the perfect gift can be even more pressing.

Remember: Gifts aren’t the point of the holiday season, so don’t stress out too much. The surrogate in your life will probably be just as happy to simply spend time with you. Taking the time to catch up with her may be one of the best gifts she can receive.

But, if you’re still looking for that perfect gift for your friend who is a surrogate, American Surrogacy is here to help. Our specialists can always offer appropriate suggestions based on your relationship with the surrogate in your life.

Whether you are the intended parents working with a surrogate or simply a friend or family member of a surrogate, keep these gift suggestions in mind this holiday season:

1. A Personalized Care Package

You know your friend best — which means you likely know exactly what they most enjoy. Are they a stay-at-home, movie-and-popcorn kind of person? Or do they like to have a high-spirited sports night with their friends and family?

Whatever their hobbies, consider making them a personalized care package. If they’re currently pregnant, you can include self-care items like bath bubbles and cozy socks to keep them comfortable. If they’re not, you could send them a basket of their favorite goodies and wine for a lazy night at home. The good part about this kind of gift? It’s all up to you!

2. A Spa Visit

Whether she’s pregnant or not, any surrogate will appreciate the calm of a free spa day. Surrogacy can be an emotionally draining process, and many surrogates handle the responsibilities of their surrogacy and their everyday life. Allowing someone else to care for them can be a big relief.

3. A Ready-Made Meal or Restaurant Gift Card

On the same note, many surrogates split household responsibilities with their spouse — but it can get harder to put their full 50 percent in when they’re also dealing with the responsibilities of surrogacy. Take one responsibility off of your surrogate’s plate, literally. Services like Send a Meal allow you to gift the surrogate and her family a prepared meal at home, or you can send her a gift card to take her family out to dinner for the night.

4. Something for Her Kids

Sometimes, surrogates don’t need anything for themselves, but they’ll greatly appreciate you giving their children a thought during the holiday season. Remember, their mother’s surrogacy journey affects them, too. They may not have as much time with her as usual, and she may not be able to serve the roles she usually does in their lives when she is pregnant. Consider giving them a new movie or video game to keep them entertained — and to give Mom some “me time.”

5. A Sentimental Accessory

Surrogacy is a journey that will affect a surrogate’s life forever, so you can always get her a gift that will keep those memories close to her heart. Something as simple as a necklace with the baby’s birthstone or a locket with the baby’s birthdate engraved can be a beautiful way to honor her decision.

Any kind of sentimental accessory like this should come from her intended parents only. If you are considering this gift, make sure to speak with your surrogacy specialist to determine which kinds of jewelry and accessories are appropriate.

6. Flower or Edible Fruit Arrangements

Everyone likes a good arrangement — whether it’s made of beautiful flowers or delicious fruits and candies. These are an easy way to show you care and are thinking of a surrogate during the holidays without putting too much time and effort into the choice. Just don’t forget a personalized note!

7. Surrogacy-Specific Gifts

Despite its growing popularity, surrogacy is still an uncommon way for people to build their families. As proud as she may be of her own journey, a surrogate may not have an easy way to celebrate it daily. So, help her out with something that shows your own pride in her! There are plenty of gifts that allude to a woman’s “superpower” as a surrogate; Etsy is a good place to start. These gifts can help her show her pride in her surrogacy journey.

8. A Night on the Town

A surrogate has a lot of responsibility in her life, both during and after the surrogacy process. Give her a break with a night out for her and her spouse. Send them a movie-and-restaurant gift card package, or buy two tickets to a local show. Odds are, she’s dying for a night away from her responsibilities but just needs the right motivation to make that decision!

9. A Memory from Your Journey

If you are the intended parents a surrogate is carrying for, you will go through a lot together. If you plan far enough ahead, you can find a way to save these memories forever.

Consider putting together a surrogacy memory book with photos of the surrogate during her pregnancy and photos of you and the baby after he or she is born. It can be a great way for a surrogate to catch up on your life since your surrogacy journey ended and allow her to show off her surrogacy experience in an easy way to friends and family members.

Something even simpler — such as a framed photo from delivery — can be just as heartfelt.

10. A Holiday Card and Family Update

Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you have to go overboard. Depending on your relationship with a surrogate and how long it’s been since she completed her surrogacy journey, a holiday card and family update can be enough to say you’re thinking about her and hope she’s doing well. Whether you’re her intended parent or just a loved one, she’ll smile when she sees that you care.

Want more suggestions on appropriate holiday gifts for gestational carriers? Contact our surrogacy specialists anytime.

10 Holiday Gift Ideas for Intended Parents

When the holiday time rolls around, it’s a period full of family, fun and festivities — not to mention gifts.

Finding the perfect gift for anyone can be a challenge. When there are intended parents in your life, you may be unsure of what to give them during their surrogacy journey. Despite its growing popularity, gestational surrogacy is still new to many people. And, if you’re in that boat, you may be unsure of what is even an appropriate gift to give intended parents during the holidays.

Don’t worry — American Surrogacy is here to help. We’ve gathered 10 great gift ideas for intended parents here. Our specialists are always happy to give you more advice when you call us at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

In the meantime, get started with these suggestions:

1. A Personalized Care Package

The best presents aren’t the most extravagant — they are the ones with the most heart. So, instead of rushing out to buy the fancy new coat or pair of shoes for your friend, go a little more personalized. Create a care package with all of the small goodies they like. Maybe throw together a movie-night basket with popcorn, wine and the biggest new flick, or add some Gatorade and new headphones for the exercise aficionado.

However big or small, your personal touch shows that you care enough to think about them during the busy holiday season.

2. Something to Help Them Prepare

If the intended parents are in the middle of the surrogacy process, they are probably freaking out a bit at the upcoming changes in their lives. You can help reassure some of their worries by aiding them through the preparation process.

Send them a package of outlet covers or another baby-proofing device. Consider buying them a set of parenting classes to ease their nerves. While intended parents may have more energy to prepare than an expectant parent carrying their child, that doesn’t mean they are any less nervous or know better what to do. Offer to step in and give them a hand during the busy holiday season.

3. Baby Supplies

On the same note, a parent-to-be can never have too many baby supplies! Their loved ones will likely be excited to buy all of the cute baby onesies and toys on their wish list but, at the end of the day, intended parents will be much more grateful of gifts such as diapers, formula, baby wipes and more.

It may not seem like the most exciting holiday gift, but the intended parents will be thankful for it.

4. Something for the Baby

That doesn’t mean you can’t buy something fun for the baby! Whether or not they are already here, if you find the perfect little stuffed animal or holiday decoration for the baby, don’t be afraid to get it.

This gift can be even more meaningful if you are the surrogate carrying the baby for the intended parents. It can be a keepsake that helps them explain their child’s surrogacy story in the years to come.

5. A Night Out on the Town

Intended parents spend a lot of time worrying and waiting during the surrogacy process. You can help them take their mind off of those worries for a bit by gifting them a date night. Consider buying a movie and restaurant gift card to give them a night on the town. After all, time together won’t be easy to come by once the baby is born. It can be just the thing they need to escape from the surrogacy and holiday stress this time of the year.

6. A Sentimental Accessory

If you are the surrogate carrying for the intended parents, you might want to give them something special that commemorates your journey together. That could include anything from paying for a photographer to be there during delivery to nicely framing an existing photo you have of all of you together. You might even choose to write a letter to the baby you’re carrying or gather other important mementos for the intended parents to add to the baby’s surrogacy memory book.

7. A Home-Cooked Meal

If the intended parents have already welcomed their little one home, they’re probably going through all the motions of new parenthood — and finding out they have little time for themselves. A home-cooked meal may be exactly what they need. Put together a tried-and-true casserole yourself, or use a service like Send a Meal to deliver a fully cooked meal right to their doorstep. It can be the perfect way to say, “I’m thinking of you, and I know how you’re feeling,” without pressuring them to find a babysitter for a dinner out.

8. Surrogacy-Specific Gifts

Despite the support intended parents receive from their surrogacy specialist and their family and friends, surrogacy can be an isolating journey. While the family-building process is growing in popularity, your friends may be the only ones they know who have taken this route.

So, find a holiday gift that shows pride in their family-building process. Websites such as Etsy are great places to find décor with surrogacy phrases or other keepsakes commemorating their surrogacy journey.

9. Something Handmade

Maybe you have a special hobby. If so, consider making the intended parents a personalized gift. Their baby will love a soft handmade blanket or beanie, and the intended parents might appreciate a one-of-a-kind painting with which to decorate their child’s nursery.

It will certainly be a gift unlike any other they receive!

10. A Holiday Card and Family Update

Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you have to go overboard when it comes to gifts and presents. The act of gift-giving is all about showing someone you care, and the smallest card and letter can be all an intended parent needs to know you were thinking of them. This can be especially heartwarming from their former surrogate; they are forever bonded to her, and they want to know how her family is doing, even years after the surrogacy process is complete.

If you’re a surrogate struggling over what to get your intended parents during the holidays, don’t be afraid to go simple. Just knowing you were thinking about them will make the intended parents smile.

Want more guidance on picking out a holiday gift for intended parents? Contact our specialists today.

How Long Do You Have to Wait After Giving Birth to Be a Surrogate?

If you’re a fan of being pregnant, it’s often not long after your last delivery that you start thinking about doing it again. But, while you can get pregnant naturally as soon after childbirth as your body allows, the same rules don’t apply when it comes to gestational surrogacy.

If you want to become pregnant right away again as a gestational carrier, you’re going to have to wait.

Surrogacy professionals, including American Surrogacy, want to ensure all surrogates and intended parents are protected during the surrogacy journey. That starts with giving a woman ample time to recover postpartum before becoming pregnant again.

To learn more about pregnancy gap requirements at our agency, we encourage you to call our specialists anytime at 1-800-875-BABY(2229). In the meantime, learn a bit more about this topic below.

Why Most Professionals Require a 12-Month Gap

Before jumping into surrogacy, a woman should always be 100 percent physically and mentally ready for the challenges of the process. Postpartum recovery can delay that significantly.

A woman’s body naturally slows the return to fertility after she gives birth. It makes sense; she is typically giving a great deal of her time and energy to the care of a baby and, to best do that, she should give her full attention to that child only. Breastfeeding is one factor in this; the act of producing breastmilk during your baby’s first six months of life often prevents you from becoming pregnant.

Your body goes through a lot during the pregnancy and childbirth process. You may have stitches or other tears from delivery that need to heal, and your body needs to build up its supply of nutrients that were depleted during pregnancy and breastfeeding. The microbiome of your birth canal needs to be reset, and your body overall needs to heal from inflammation and potential infections. Jumping into pregnancy right away is simply not advised.

That’s why many medical professionals advise women to wait at least 12 months after delivery to get pregnant again. The World Health Organization even recommends a minimum of 18 months.

Therefore, to ensure a surrogate has the best chance of success in passing her medical screening and eventually getting pregnant, surrogacy professionals follow these same recommendations. While they may be frustrating at first, remember that these rules are created with your safety in mind.

American Surrogacy’s Policies on Pregnancy Gaps

So, if most medical professionals recommend a 12-month gap between pregnancies, why does American Surrogacy allow prospective surrogates to start the process at only six months postpartum?

That’s a good question. Here at American Surrogacy, we are just as dedicated to your safety as any other surrogacy professional. However, we recognize that your time is precious — which is why we maximize it as much as possible.

The surrogacy process can take a year or more to complete. The preliminary screening and matching stages by themselves can take a few months; therefore, we allow our surrogate candidates to apply six months postpartum to start tackling these ahead of time.

When the time comes around that a candidate is 12 months postpartum, she’ll be ready to start the medical process right away — having already completed the preliminary logistical steps and screenings. She can jump right back into trying to get pregnant again, and our specialists already have the knowledge to support her through this journey.

For more information on our pregnancy gap policies, please contact our specialists today. They can answer your questions and help you decide when you are eligible to start the surrogacy process.

What to Consider Before Becoming Pregnant Again

It’s one thing to adhere to a professional recommendation about time between pregnancies — but it’s even more important to evaluate your personal situation. You may be excited at the possibility of being pregnant and helping to bring a child into the world, but have you really thought about what this process will demand from you?

Pregnancy and childbirth is a major medical experience, and it’s not something that you can get up and walk away from the day after. You’ll feel the effects of pregnancy and delivery for months after. You may feel like your body is not your own, and you may struggle to get back to the physical condition you were in prior to your last pregnancy. This is totally normal.

Whether you are six months postpartum or later in your recovery process, you should ask yourself whether you are really ready to become pregnant again. Start with these questions:

Are you ready to stop breastfeeding? Because breastfeeding delays a woman’s return to fertility, prospective surrogates must stop breastfeeding before they can begin the medical process. They must resume their regular menstrual cycle, which can take a few months after breastfeeding stops. Are you ready to wean your child in order to become a gestational carrier?
Can you care for a newborn on top of your surrogacy responsibilities? Being a surrogate is no joke — and neither is being a new parent. They both require discipline, time and energy. Handling both together is not impossible, but it can be difficult. Think about your current schedule and everyday routine; can you handle the added responsibilities of being pregnant and maintaining a relationship with your intended parents? There’s no shame in waiting until your child is a bit older to start the surrogacy process.
How emotionally ready do you really feel? You may feel like you have to put on a brave face after pregnancy, saying how everything is OK — but your postpartum time will be an extremely emotional one. And don’t forget the risk of postpartum depression. You need to be 100 percent honest with yourself about how emotionally ready you are for another pregnancy and the commitment of surrogacy. All prospective surrogates must undergo a mental health evaluation prior to approval, but it’s a good idea for you to see a professional on your own after pregnancy. That way, you can honestly evaluate your emotional state before you get started.

Ultimately, you are the only one who can decide when the best time to start the surrogacy process will be. If you are excited and prepared for being a surrogate six months after delivery, great — our team will be happy to help you get started!

Whatever you do, don’t rush yourself into a decision you’re not ready for. American Surrogacy will always be here for you, no matter how long it takes.

Contact our specialists today to learn more about becoming a surrogate with our agency.