Everyone has the right to become a parent, if they so desire. But, if you are an intended father living with HIV, you may not think it’s a possibility for you. In concern about passing along the virus to your child, you may have assumed that you could never have a biological child naturally or through assisted reproduction.
You couldn’t be more wrong. Today, advances have made it possible for many HIV-positive intended fathers like you to make their parenthood dreams come true — and bring a healthy biological child into the world. HIV is not the death sentence it once was, either for yourself or for your parenting dreams.
At American Surrogacy, we can help you reach those dreams whenever you are ready. In the meantime, learn more about the logistics of being an HIV-positive intended parent below.
Your Surrogate Cannot Be Infected Because of Your Sperm
You know that HIV is transmitted through unprotected sex and contact with other bodily fluids. Therefore, you would think any natural conception would be impossible from the moment that a man is diagnosed with HIV (although advances in medicine have now made this path possible).
However, surrogacy does not involve unprotected sex — it doesn’t involve sexual intercourse at all. During both gestational and traditional surrogacy, an embryo is created through harvesting of gametes and in vitro fertilization. Then, the embryo is transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, after which she carries the baby to term. Therefore, the main risk of transmitting HIV through seminal fluid is eliminated.
But, you may wonder: Can’t my baby catch the virus from my genetics? To answer this, you must understand the details of how HIV is transmitted.
In more than 4,000 cases of HIV-positive parents using ART methods to conceive a baby, not one case has resulted in the transmission of the virus to a surrogate or to the baby. This is because of a technique called “sperm washing.”
Using this technique, sperm is collected from an HIV-positive man. Medical professionals then separate sperm from infected cells in seminal fluid, using solely the sperm cells for the IVF process. HIV is transmitted through the seminal fluid, not the sperm itself. Researchers have reported that washed sperm is 92 to 99 percent free of the virus’s RNA.
For extra precaution, your fertility clinic may require your surrogate to be given antiviral medication before embryo transfer, although her chances of catching HIV — and transmitting it to your baby — are extremely low.
Therefore, you can pursue parenthood through surrogacy if you are an HIV-positive intended father — and American Surrogacy is happy to help you through this journey.
What Will Be Required From You
In order to protect yourself, the surrogate and your baby born via surrogacy, you must be considered noninfectious. These means you must:
- Be following your HIV treatment protocols
- Be taking medication as directed
- Have an undetectable viral load for a minimum number of months, as determined by your fertility clinic (usually six months or more)
- Undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases
It’s important to talk with your fertility clinic to determine what steps you need to take to result in a healthy pregnancy and child. Your clinic, along with your primary HIV care physician, should be in close contact to create the best medical plan moving forward.
To create your embryo for IVF, you will usually provide two or three semen samples for washing. If you need a donated egg, you can work with your fertility clinic or a gamete bank to select a donor. If you are married to the intended mother and she plans to use her own egg, she will need to undergo egg harvesting to safely create an embryo for implantation.
If you choose to work with American Surrogacy, you must also meet the requirements for intended parents set forth by our agency. To learn more about these requirements, you can always call our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).
HIV-Positive Parenting: It is Possible
Thanks to the advances in medical technologies, it is possible for you to have a child that is HIV-free. More and more HIV-positive parents are raising children today, and you can, too.
However, there are some things to consider about being an HIV-positive parent. For instance, it’s important that you focus on the importance of understanding exactly how HIV is transmitted (and how it is not) and what steps you should take to keep you and your kids healthy. Studies have shown that HIV-positive parents fear catching opportunistic infections from their children or transmitting HIV to their children through physical contact. For these reasons, more than a quarter of parents say they avoid physical interaction with their child. For example, many avoid kissing on the lips or sharing utensils, even though HIV is not transmitted through saliva. Understandably, this fear and avoidance is easily picked up on by children, creating a tense parent-child relationship.
If you choose to become an HIV-positive parent, proper education (for yourself and your child) is key. You may need to set certain hygiene rules that other families don’t have to avoid contact with blood and transmitting opportunistic infections. You will also need to make sure your child’s peers understand the realities of the disease; ill-informed children can be cruel and even dangerous in teaching the wrong ideas to others. You must also be prepared for prejudice or discrimination from other adults who are aware of your HIV-positive status.
Before you choose to pursue surrogacy as an HIV-positive intended father, take the time to research being an HIV-positive parent. Consider reaching out to HIV support groups for parents. Always speak in depth with your medical professionals to understand what different steps you may need to take as an HIV-positive parent. With the proper preparation, you can become the parent you’ve dreamed about for so long — and American Surrogacy is here to help.
To learn more about our surrogacy program and to discuss your personal situation with a surrogacy specialist, please contact our agency today.