Surrogates | American Surrogacy Blog

40 Questions Surrogates Should Ask Prospective Surrogacy Agencies

If you are considering working with a surrogacy agency to help intended parents add to their family, you will have a big choice ahead of you. There are many surrogacy agencies across the country to choose from, so how do you find the one that is right for you as a prospective surrogate?

An important part of this process is speaking directly with professionals from the surrogacy agency you are considering. The surrogacy agency you choose will dictate how the rest of your surrogacy journey proceeds, so you’ll need to be comfortable with your professional before committing to a journey of a year or more with them. Not every agency will work for every prospective surrogate, and you shouldn’t rush into choosing a professional until you are confident it is the right decision.

As you prepare to talk with prospective surrogacy agencies, read through our tips to make this conversation as productive as possible.

Tips for Talking with a Surrogacy Agency

You may not know where to start when interviewing a potential surrogacy agency, especially if this is your first time becoming a surrogate. It can be intimidating to talk to experts, but remember that this is an important step in your journey. These professionals work with many women like you, and they are happy to answer your questions and address any concerns you have before choosing this path. You may even be able to connect with other surrogates working with the agency through social media, like our Instagram page.

There are typically three rules to follow when you speak with a surrogacy agency:

1. Get to Know Them Ahead of Time

If you are considering a surrogacy agency, odds are that you’ve perused their website and other materials to learn a little bit about them. This is likely the reason you’re considering them in the first place. However, if you haven’t yet, make sure you do extensive research before you have your in-depth conversation with professionals at the agency. That way, you can tailor your questions to their particular services and program, which will give you more helpful answers and a better idea of whether they are the right fit for you.

2. Request a Meeting In Person, If Possible

Your surrogacy agency will be the professional to support you through every step of your surrogacy journey, and it’s important that you’re comfortable with them. Being able to speak with their professionals in person is a good indicator of their future involvement in your case and will help you better evaluate whether they are the right ones for you. An in-person meeting may give you that gut feeling you are looking for when choosing a surrogacy agency.

3. Take Your Time

You are never obligated to choose a surrogacy agency before you are ready. Even if you have a great meeting with a surrogacy professional, don’t sign on to their program right away. Take some time to consider your feelings, talk with your spouse (if applicable) and do any last-minute evaluations. Make sure you are 100 percent confident before committing with an agency, as it is a choice that will affect the next year or more of your life.

Questions to Ask a Surrogacy Agency

When you’re ready to interview a prospective surrogacy agency, here are some of the important questions you should consider asking:

About the Agency

What is the history of your agency?
How many surrogates have you worked with, and how many successful surrogacies have you completed?
What is a “successful” surrogacy with your agency?
How are your staff members trained or certified?
How large is your staff?
How many other surrogates are you currently working with?
What kind of support do you offer your surrogates outside of business hours?

About Their Services

What kind of services do you offer surrogates?
What about intended parents?
What is your screening process for both parties?
What are your requirements for surrogates who work with your agency?
Is there room for exceptions within your surrogate requirements?
Do you require my spouse to meet certain requirements, as well? (If applicable)
What is your average surrogate compensation?
How will you help me obtain surrogate compensation? Through an escrow account at your agency or through a third party?
How long will I receive services after the surrogacy is complete?

About Finding Intended Parents

How many intended parents do you have waiting for a surrogate?
What is your matching process like?
What if I have already identified intended parents to work with?
How do you find intended parents that meet my preferences?
Where are your intended parents from?
Will you help me create a surrogate profile?
What can I choose about my intended parents?
How long will it typically take to find a match with your agency?

About Contact Mediation

How will you help me prepare for the first conversation with the intended parents?
Will this conversation take place in person or over the phone?
Will you help mediate contact with my intended parents during my surrogacy?
If so, how? How will you assist if intended parents overstep their boundaries?
How do you resolve difficult situations between surrogates and intended parents?

About Other Professionals

What other professionals will I need to complete my surrogacy?
How will you ensure those services come free of cost to me?
Will you help me find additional professionals, if I need them?
Do I have to choose from pre-approved professionals with your agency?

About the Hospital Stay

How will you help me create a hospital delivery plan?
Which professionals will be present during my delivery?
What are your policies on nontraditional births and doulas?

7 Questions Surrogates Have for Surrogacy Lawyers

Surrogacy can be complicated and confusing. It can also raise many legal questions for first-time surrogates who want to protect themselves, their families and their intended parents before jumping into this life-changing process.

If you are considering carrying a baby for someone else, there are several legal complexities involved. A surrogacy lawyer is necessary to protect the rights of all involved, not to mention fully understanding the legal process of surrogacy before even beginning.

So, where do you start as a prospective surrogate? The first thing to do is to contact a local surrogacy attorney, who can answer your questions based on your personal situation and state laws. However, in the meantime, find some general answers to a few of your legal questions below:

1. Can I be a surrogate in my state?

In most states in the U.S., surrogacy is legal. However, each state has different legislation regarding who can be a surrogate or intended parent, whether a surrogate can be related to the baby she carries, how much compensation can be paid and more. Before deciding to become a surrogate, it’s important that you understand the laws in your state, as they are the laws that will shape your intended parents’ surrogacy journey, too. If you live in a state (like New York or New Jersey) where surrogacy contracts are unenforceable, most intended parents will not be comfortable working with you.

Always contact a local surrogacy attorney for more information about surrogacy in your state. Most professionals will provide a free consultation, and your legal costs will always be covered by the intended parents you choose to work with.

2. Can I get paid for being a surrogate?

The answer to this question will depend upon the laws of your state. Some states completely outlaw surrogate compensation, while others allow for a surrogate to receive payment for her services.

If the laws of your state allow for it, you can receive compensation to be a surrogate. This compensation is usually paid out monthly once a pregnancy is confirmed and can vary in amount depending on your experience, where you live and more. Keep in mind that your intended parents will also cover any of your medical or pregnancy expenses. Surrogacy will always be completely free for women like you.

3. How do I make sure I’m not responsible for the baby after birth?

When you are the one giving birth to a baby, you may think you are automatically deemed the mother of the child. However, surrogacy professionals across the country have created a legal process that ensures you will not be held responsible for a child you give birth to via surrogacy.

Most surrogacies today are gestational, which means a surrogate is not genetically related to the baby she carries. Instead, the child is genetically related to the intended parents (or a gamete donor, if necessary). A surrogacy attorney documents this relationship in a pre-birth parentage order, which a court enforces to give the intended parents automatic parental rights to their child.

The availability of a pre- or post-birth parentage order will depend upon the laws of your state, but one thing is for sure: You will not be responsible for the baby after you give birth.

If you are a traditional surrogate (meaning your eggs were used in the IVF process), you may need to take additional legal steps to relinquish your maternal rights. A pre-birth order may not be possible; you may instead need to sign relinquishment papers after the baby is born. In some states, this process is treated like an adoption, which can come with other legal considerations.

Remember, your surrogacy attorney will work with you and your intended parents to ensure the proper parental rights are established at the time of birth.

4. How can I protect my family in case something goes wrong?

Like any big medical commitment, surrogacy is not a decision to make lightly. When you become a surrogate, you will be giving your time, energy and body to help another family for a year or more — and you will be subjecting yourself to certain medical risks along the way. It’s important that you protect yourself and your family in case you are incapacitated in one way or another.

This is where your surrogacy contract comes in. Your surrogacy attorney will make sure that your rights are protected, and he or she will also take into account any potential liabilities of the process. Your contract will address those risks and liabilities and set out the steps to take if they do occur. You will have a say in making sure that the proper financial protections are in place if something unexpected occurs.

5. Why do we need a lawyer to draft a surrogacy contract?

In addition to laying out potential risks and liabilities, a surrogacy contract is essentially a list of all the legal guidelines, expectations and responsibilities involved in your surrogacy journey. Without a proper surrogacy contract, there is a great deal of legal risk in being a surrogate. You must work with a surrogacy attorney to create a surrogacy contract.

Only surrogacy attorneys understand all of the nuances involved in surrogacy, and only they can properly list and address those aspects in a legal contract. While you can find surrogacy contracts online, these contracts cannot address all of the personal circumstances of your own surrogacy — leaving you and your intended parents vulnerable. There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to such an important legal document, especially when surrogacy laws in the U.S. vary so widely by state.

6. Why do the intended parents and I have to have separate lawyers?

Your personal surrogacy goals and dreams are likely different from your intended parents’, so it’s important that you both have separate legal representation. This way, you can ensure that your needs and wants are being properly protected, without interference from those of the intended parents.

For example, your surrogacy attorney will help you advocate for the best surrogate compensation for your situation — without also trying to reduce the expenses of the intended parents, as he or she would if representing them simultaneously. Remember, your legal services will always be free to you when you become a surrogate.

7. Whose health insurance will I use for the surrogate pregnancy?

The answer to this question will depend upon your personal health insurance policy. Some insurance carriers will cover surrogate’s medical expenses, while others have a “surrogacy exclusion” written into the policy.

If your health insurance does not cover or is not conducive to the coverage of surrogacy, the intended parents will purchase an additional insurance policy to cover your medical expenses. You will not be required to pay for this insurance or for your medical expenses, and the details of your insurance coverage will be determined long before you begin. At American Surrogacy, surrogacy specialists will evaluate your insurance upon your application to our agency. If you need an additional insurance policy, this will be obtained as part of the surrogacy contract phase.

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Have more questions for a surrogacy attorney or questions about the surrogacy process in general?

You can check out our most recent posts on our Instagram.

Contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229) to learn more or receive a referral to a trusted lawyer in your area.

The Truth About the Medication You’ll Take as a Surrogate

When women are considering becoming surrogates, there are many questions in their minds. However, two of the biggest often are, “What medication will I need to take? Do I have to give myself shots?”

Like women undergoing fertility treatments, all surrogates must take certain medications to prepare themselves for the in vitro fertilization process. However, not all women have the same medication experience. Some women can breeze through their medication schedule, while others experience side effects that interfere with their everyday life.

If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, you might have heard horror stories about these negative side effects and the shots you have to take. It’s important you learn the truth about surrogacy medication before beginning this process, as it may or may not affect your final decision.

Hear from surrogates themselves by following us on Instagram.

Every Surrogate’s Medication Schedule is Different

First, know this: Every surrogacy journey is unique, and so is every surrogate’s prescribed medication schedule. What you hear from others may not apply to your own surrogacy. Only your surrogacy and medical professionals will know what your surrogacy journey will involve.

To answer one of your biggest questions, yes, you likely will need to take self-injected medication. Most commonly, these shots are Lupron shots. Lupron is a medication that inhibits the secretion of hormones that control your menstrual cycle. It is critical to allowing your reproductive endocrinologist complete control over your cycle in order to prepare it for the embryo transfer. Lupron is usually taken about 14 days after you start taking birth control, and you will discontinue the shots in the days before your embryo transfer.

Some of the worst shots you may have heard about are progesterone in oil injections, which are administered via a large needle and in lots of liquid. However, many surrogates have developed ways to alleviate any discomfort from these shots. You may consider icing the site before injection, massaging the area after injection, and using a heating pad. As scary as the needle can be, the pain afterwards is more like that of a bruise than anything else. You may also take progesterone through gels or pills; your medical professional will determine which process is best for you.

Other medications you may take include doxycycline, baby aspirin, prenatal vitamins, estrogen and more. Again, only your reproductive endocrinologist can inform you of what medication you will actually take to prepare for your embryo transfer. Your medical professional will discuss this schedule in detail with you and make sure you have the tools in place to maintain the correct doses at the correct time of day.

Every Surrogate Has Different Reactions and Side Effects

You may have also heard about the side effects of surrogate medication. Like all medication, the medicines you take to become a surrogate may have some side effects — but, again, their severity will depend upon your own body and your tolerance for those medications.

Some surrogates only experience minor side effects (like bloating and soreness), while others experience much more intense effects. Whatever the extent of your personal side effects, remember that your reproductive endocrinologist will always answer any questions you have and adjust your medication schedule to what is best for you.

There are many medications involved in surrogacy, so don’t be surprised if you experience side effects pre-transfer. In the grand scheme of things, these side effects often aren’t a deal-breaker (very comparable to PMS symptoms), and what you are doing will help bring a child into the world. When they look back on it, many surrogates consider any discomfort well worth it to help reach their surrogacy goals.

You May Need the Help of Others

Surrogate medication protocols can be complicated — and you aren’t expected to embark on this journey on your own. It’s obvious that your surrogacy professional and your reproductive endocrinologist will be intimately involved in your medication schedule, but you should also be open to including other people to make the journey a bit easier.

During your medication protocol, you will be required to take certain medications at certain times. It can be incredibly helpful to include your partner or another loved one in your schedule. They can give you any shots you feel uncomfortable doing yourself, or they can provide childcare and other practical assistance during times when your side effects are particularly bad.

It is a good idea to include your partner (if applicable) in your discussions with your reproductive endocrinologist. That way, they can understand your medication protocol, how to administer it and what serious side effects to look out for.

It’s normal to have questions about what kind of medication you’ll need to take as a surrogate. To learn more about this process (and the general process of surrogacy), please reach out to our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

How Do Surrogates Feel About Carrying Someone Else’s Baby?

It’s a common question about surrogacy: How do surrogates really feel about carrying someone else’s baby?

For someone unfamiliar with the surrogacy process, it can be confusing as to why a woman would give her time, body and energy to being pregnant for someone else. After all, pregnancy is a huge commitment that does come with certain risks. When a woman spends all that time carrying a child, does she really feel nothing for the little bundle of joy?

Of course surrogates have feelings for the babies they carry. Their emotions are just a bit different than what you might expect.

They Know the Baby isn’t “Theirs”

Most surrogacy processes today are gestational, which means the surrogate is not genetically related to the baby she carries. Instead, the baby is conceived from an embryo of the intended parents’ genetic material (or with the combination of a donor egg or sperm). That embryo is then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus.

When a woman is pregnant with an intended parents’ baby, she knows from the beginning that the baby is not hers. She often views what she is doing as “babysitting” — taking care of the unborn child until they are healthy enough to go home with their parents after birth. Therefore, many surrogates report that they don’t feel the same attachment to a surrogate baby as they do to the children they carried themselves.

A woman must go through certain mental health screenings and evaluations before she can become a surrogate. During these screenings, she is counseled about the feelings she might expect while pregnant, and health professionals must feel that she can properly handle the emotions of surrogacy before she can even begin. With all of this information, surrogates don’t ever feel like the baby they are carrying is “theirs.” While legal protections are in place to prevent a surrogate from keeping the baby after birth, the truth is that it’s extremely rare for a surrogate to have those kinds of maternal feelings toward the baby she carries.

They are Excited to Involve Intended Parents

Surrogates do not try to keep their pregnancy private. They know how important this pregnancy is to the intended parents, so they take steps to actively involve the baby’s parents as much as possible.

From the beginning of the surrogacy process, women who become surrogates must give up a certain degree of privacy when it comes to their medical treatments and procedures. Therefore, a surrogate is often incredibly comfortable with involving the intended parents in intimate moments like ultrasounds and delivery. She would likely be upset if the intended parents couldn’t be present for these moments.

Surrogates are usually thrilled about including intended parents in whatever ways they can, but it’s still crucial that both parties create a contact schedule in their surrogacy contract before starting. A surrogacy agency or professional can also help mediate any contact disagreements that arise during the surrogacy process and aid the creation of a positive, genuine relationship between intended parents and their surrogate.

You can connect with a community of surrogates ready to share their experiences on our Instagram page.

They are Prepared for any Post-Birth Emotions

As part of their pre-surrogacy screenings, surrogates are informed of the conflicting emotions they may feel after they give birth to the baby. These emotions aren’t due to a maternal attachment; instead, they are often products of the pregnancy hormones they can’t control.

Surrogates are prepared for the emotions they may feel, and these emotions rarely affect a surrogate’s adherence to legal custody issues. In fact, many surrogates are overjoyed to give the baby to the parents. A surrogate has often created such a genuine relationship with intended parents that she is thrilled to finally help their dreams come true.

In the case that a surrogate does experience conflicting emotions after birth, she will always have the support of her surrogacy specialist and any other required mental health professionals. Remember, any of these feelings often stem from post-partum hormones, not a genuine desire to “keep” the baby. At American Surrogacy, our specialists work closely to support all surrogates after their delivery to ensure they are adjusting appropriately.

If you want to learn more about how women feel about carrying a child for intended parents, you can always contact our surrogacy specialists at 1-800-875-2229 for more information about this process.

Why Do People Choose Surrogacy Instead of Adoption?

Surrogates give a lot to help intended parents realize their family dreams: time, energy and, of course, their body. If you are considering becoming a surrogate, it’s normal to want to know more about intended parents before pursuing this path.

During your research process, you may learn more about all the family-building options available to parents. One of the most popular of these options is adoption; indeed, there are several different paths to take to adopt.

This may lead you to ask: Why do intended parents go through all the trouble of surrogacy when there are children out there waiting for a loving home?

Intended parents’ choice of surrogacy is a bit more complicated than that. Before you become a surrogate, you should understand exactly how intended parents decide that surrogacy is right for them. Every intended parent is different, but there are a few key reasons why surrogacy may be the best path for them.

Follow our Instagram to hear from intended parents about their decision making process that led them to surrogacy as a way to grow their family.

They Want a Genetic Child

Like many people, intended parents have often dreamed for years about a child that has their genetics — someone that shares their eyes, their nose, their face. It’s hard to let go of the dream of a “mini-me” that reflects who you are. Just because a couple struggles to conceive on their own doesn’t mean these dreams go away — or that they move past them to automatically adopt instead.

Parents who can conceive on their own aren’t judged for their desire to have a biological child, so why should intended parents be? Before you ask why people didn’t choose adoption, consider this situation: Wouldn’t you try to have a genetic child yourself if assisted reproductive technology (ART) allowed for it?

They Have Remaining Embryos

Often, intended parents who pursue surrogacy have already gone through rounds of unsuccessful IVF procedures. An intended mother may know she cannot carry a child but, if the couple has remaining embryos, the decision of what to do with them is complex. Storing embryos forever can be costly, but it can be difficult to dispose of them or donate them to another couple.

If intended parents have remaining embryos, surrogacy may be the next logical step for them. This ART method will give them the chance to use the embryos they have spent money creating and give them the last chance to have the biological child they have dreamed about.

They Want More Control Over Their Family-Building Process

In many ways, surrogacy provides a level of involvement in and control over a family’s creation that adoption does not. In surrogacy, intended parents are an equal partner in the process; they can mutually select the surrogate they wish to carry their baby, they can create a surrogacy contract of expectations for their surrogacy journey, and they can be present for important doctor’s appointments and the birth of their child.

In private domestic infant adoption, parents are chosen by a prospective birth mother, and she may choose them at any point in her pregnancy — even after she has given birth. Adoptive parents will have no guarantee that an expectant mother is receiving proper prenatal care or avoiding dangerous substances, and they usually won’t be present for the birth of their child. The wait time for adoption is difficult to predict. Hopeful parents can wait months or years to be matched, and there is always the chance of an adoption disrupting when a prospective birth mother changes her mind.

Often, hopeful parents who choose surrogacy are comfortable paying more to have a degree of control over their family-building that the process of adopting a baby cannot provide. It’s an understandable choice, especially if the parents have already spent months or years on failed fertility treatments.

Adoption is Not as Easy as It Seems

Adoption is a very different process from what some people believe it to be. If you’re wondering why intended parents don’t “just” adopt a baby, you need to first understand the complexities of the adoption process and why it’s not as easy as some people make it out to be.

Whether parents choose to adopt from foster care, adopt an infant domestically or adopt internationally, there are many regulations and requirements that have to be met. While it’s true that there are many children in foster care waiting for homes, a parent cannot just go and adopt a child — they must complete background checks and home studies, be matched with the perfect child for their situation, and then have a child be placed in their home for a certain amount of time before they can legally adopt them. Of course, hopeful parents must also consider the difficulties of raising an older child who may have experienced trauma in his or her life.

Adoption is not an easy or simple way to add a child to a family; in many ways, it is just as complex as the surrogacy process. It’s also not the right answer for every hopeful parent.

It’s normal to be curious about intended parents who you will be spending a year or more working intimately with. Remember that before you find intended parents, you will have the chance to learn more about them and the path they took to surrogacy. Parents who have chosen surrogacy are not “selfish”; they have just chosen the path that is best for them.

To learn more about intended parents who work with our surrogacy agency, please call 1-800-875-2229(BABY) or contact our surrogacy specialists online.

7 Hard Parts of Being a Surrogate

If you’re considering becoming a surrogate, you’ve probably heard about all the wonderful parts of this journey: helping to bring a child into the world, creating an intimate relationship with the intended parents and more.

However, being a surrogate is not all butterflies and rainbows. After all, it’s a huge commitment of your time, energy and your body to help another family. It’s normal for there to be tough times during the journey, and it’s important that you understand what they might be before deciding on this path for yourself.

Here at American Surrogacy, support from our surrogacy specialists and references to trusted surrogacy lawyers and medical professionals can help alleviate some of these challenges. You are never alone when you work with American Surrogacy; we will always be there to help through both the difficult and rewarding parts of your surrogacy process.

Remember, each surrogacy journey is different, but here are some of the difficult experiences that former surrogates have reported.

1. Failed Transfer

It’s completely normal for an embryo transfer to fail, but it can still be disappointing, especially on the first try. You and your intended parents will be anxious and excited to start this surrogacy journey together, and it may seem like nothing can go wrong with the guidance of experienced medical professionals. If a failed transfer does happen, it can be devastating.

Success rates of an IVF transfer will always depend upon a clinic’s procedures, including any pre-implantation genetic screening it completes. In general, a little more than half of all IVF transfers will result in pregnancy, with anywhere from 35-40 percent of transfers failing to implant.

If you experience a failed transfer, remember that your surrogacy specialist and your medical professionals will be there to counsel you through this time. A failed transfer is not your fault as a surrogate, but it can still be an emotional process, nonetheless.

2. Medications

When you become a surrogate, you will be required to take a great deal of fertility drugs to prepare your body for the embryo cycle. Some of these medications will be taken orally, while some will require you to inject yourself at home. All of these medications will require strict planning and scheduling to ensure they are taken at the proper time.

Your doctor will always walk you through your medication schedule. Many surrogates find these medications (and their potential side effects) to be one the most difficult parts of surrogacy preparation. You may need the assistance of your spouse or loved ones to maintain this schedule or to administer certain drugs.

3. Waiting for Your Pregnancy Results

Many surrogates and intended parents are overjoyed and excited waiting for their transfer results — but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also an excruciating wait. Waiting for your pregnancy results can put you on pins and needles, whether you are waiting to take an at-home pregnancy test or receive your official ultrasound a week or two after transfer.

4. Miscarriage

Miscarriage is another unfortunate reality of surrogacy. While embryos do go through pre-implantation screening, there is still the chance that a miscarriage can occur. In most cases, the surrogacy miscarriage rate is comparable to the rate of miscarriage among women who become pregnant naturally: about 10-25 percent.

If you do experience a miscarriage, you will likely experience the same kind of sadness and grief as the intended parents, even though the embryo was not your own. These feelings will be normal, and your surrogacy specialist will be there to counsel you (and the intended parents) through this difficult time. When both parties are ready to try another embryo transfer, you will work closely with your doctor to prepare your body for another procedure.

Keep in mind: A miscarriage usually will not affect your ability to become pregnant in any future transfers.

5. Pregnancy Side Effects

Like any pregnancy, a surrogate pregnancy can come with difficult side effects — everything from morning sickness to gestational diabetes to more serious complications. You may find that your surrogate pregnancy is completely different from your previous pregnancies. The experience could be much harder or much easier, so it’s a good idea not to go into your surrogacy with certain expectations.

Remember, any necessary medical care will be completely covered by your intended parents, and your doctor and surrogacy specialist will work closely with you throughout your pregnancy to ensure your comfort.

6. Working with Distant Intended Parents

Surrogacy is a partnership, and it can be hard when your intended parents aren’t located close by. Not only will they often be less present for important doctor’s appointments, but they won’t be able to be there as quickly should something go wrong.

It can be tough to go through your pregnancy without intended parents’ close, practical support, but working with long-distance intended parents is more common than you may think. Technology like emails, video chatting and more can keep you in frequent touch with the intended parents. Your surrogacy specialist will help you create a contact plan in your surrogacy contract; that way, you can more easily build a relationship with intended parents who may not be located just a few hours away.

7. Coordination of Surrogacy Appointments

Finally, being a surrogate will impact every aspect of your life. Finding the time for surrogate appointments on top of your motherly and familial duties can be the hardest part of this journey. You may need to miss some of your children’s activities for scheduled medication and appointments, and it can be frustrating to give up some of your normal activities because of a lack of time or energy.

Remember, this is only temporary. You will have chosen to become a surrogate to make a difference in someone’s life, and it will be all worth it in the end. Choosing to work with American Surrogacy is the first step toward tackling these challenges and creating a positive surrogacy journey for you and your intended parents.

If you have any questions about the potential challenges of surrogacy or want to learn more about how our agency helps to minimize any risks and complications, contact our specialists for free at 1-800-875-BABY(2229).

Following our Instagram will also give you insight into the surrogacy process from other surrogates who have helped make parenthood a reality for the intended parents they matched with.

5 Secrets to a Successful Surrogacy

It’s no secret — surrogacy can be an overwhelming and complicated but equally rewarding family-building process. So, are there any tips for making it as successful a process as possible?

Whether you’re an intended parent or prospective surrogate, there are a couple of rules to live by if you want to have a surrogacy that meets all of your dreams and goals.

1. Be Open.

More than anything else, surrogacy is an intimate partnership between not only intended parents and their surrogate but also the surrogacy and medical professionals that guide them through the process. Because surrogacy can be so complicated and cause so many different emotions, it’s important that intended parents and surrogates are open with each other and their professionals from the start.

For intended parents, this may mean opening up about past infertility struggles that are difficult to talk about. For surrogates, it means being willing to share intimate medical information about their body every step of the way. Many times, surrogacy is a new experience for both, so it’s important to be open to those new experiences in order to do what is best for your personal journey.

2. Be Honest.

Similarly, it’s important to always be honest about what you are feeling at different points in your surrogacy process. It’s normal to encounter difficult emotions along the way — like jealousy, discomfort and more — but the only healthy way of coping with them is by addressing them honestly, either with your surrogacy partner or your surrogacy professional.

Trying to hide what you are feeling — either because of your own discomfort in revealing your emotions or in attempting to save someone else from discomfort — will only cause more problems further along in your surrogacy process. In fact, your surrogacy professionals are often trained to detect dishonesty or other similar issues, and your surrogacy process could stall until you resolve those emotions.

3. Be Prepared.

There are many moving parts involved in a successful surrogacy, and one of the secrets to making yours as positive as possible is by knowing what to expect. All intended parents and surrogates should fully understand the logistics of the surrogacy process before starting, but you should also speak with your surrogacy professional so you are aware of potential complications that could arise. Even if you don’t believe these circumstances will arise, you should always be prepared, just in case.

The better prepared you are, the smoother your surrogacy will progress.

4. Be Flexible.

On the same note, in the case of unexpected developments, flexibility is key. Your surrogacy may not go as you expect; you may experience delays in screening, failed transfers or even a miscarriage. As discouraging as these situations are, they are completely normal aspects of a surrogacy — and you should be prepared for the possibility of them occurring.

Being flexible under non-ideal circumstances will not only help save your mental health but it will also help you grow a strong relationship with your surrogacy partner, who will also be going through the same situations.

5. Be Realistic.

When you finally begin your surrogacy journey, you will be incredibly excited for the progress to come! However, as mentioned, surrogacy can come with unexpected delays and complications, and not everything will go perfectly the first time.

An average surrogacy journey takes about 12–18 months. Of course, all surrogacy journeys are different, and you may hear about other people’s journeys on both extremes of the spectrum. However, don’t expect to be matched within days and have a confirmed pregnancy the next month. Surrogacy takes time, and it will all happen based on what’s best for your individual journey. You may not see it while you are in the process, but you will look back later and know that everything happened when it did for a reason.

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If you’re looking for more tips on having a successful surrogacy, look no further than American Surrogacy. Our surrogacy specialists can provide the case management and support services you need during every step of this complicated journey to help you achieve your personal surrogacy goals.

Learn more by contacting us today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

Connect with a community full of compassionate, supportive surrogates and intended parents on our Instagram.

The Pros and Cons of Finding Intended Parents Online

When you choose to become a surrogate, you will have many decisions to make in order to create the surrogacy journey that’s perfect for you. One of these decisions is how you will find your intended parents — with the assistance of a professional or on your own.

With the advent of social media, some surrogates and intended parents are bypassing the agency route for matching, choosing instead to connect with each other in online surrogacy groups, classifieds and listings. This will always be an option for you as a surrogate, but it’s important that you full understand the pros and cons of independently finding intended parents before you decide to take this path.

If you’re interested in a social media space with supportive community members and first-hand surrogacy experiences, check in with our Instagram.

The Pros of Finding Intended Parents on the Internet

As mentioned, a surrogate finding intended parents on her own has become much easier over the last few years with the explosion of social media. There are many social media groups that exist exactly for this purpose — to connect intended parents and surrogates from all over the country and all over the world.

So, why do surrogates choose to find intended parents independently if the professional matching services provided by an agency will always be free to them?

You could save your intended parents money. While the matching services for a surrogate are always free, matching professionals do require intended parents to pay for these services to find a surrogate. When you choose to find intended parents on your own, you will prevent them from paying these expenses — although there is a possibility that additional costs associated with this process can still be expensive.
You can find a match for a traditional surrogacy. It’s very rare for surrogacy professionals to work with intended parents and surrogates pursuing traditional surrogacy because of the potential complications associated with this process. If you wish to become a traditional surrogate, you will likely need to find intended parents on your own.
You have more control over finding intended parents who are perfect for you. Some surrogates enjoy the sense of personal responsibility in finding intended parents on their own, especially because this match will shape the rest of their surrogacy experience. They may be able to search for specific details that they couldn’t with a matching professional and have more extensive options to choose from.
You may have a deeper, more personal relationship with your intended parents. Because you and the intended parents will be in contact from the very beginning, even before you solidify your match, you will by necessity have a closer and more personal relationship. There will need to be a great level of trust because of the lack of professional mediation.

The Cons of Finding Intended Parents on the Internet

Despite the benefits of finding intended parents independently on the internet, there are some potential disadvantages that surrogates should be aware of before taking on this personal responsibility. Finding intended parents independently is not the right path for everyone, so all surrogates should take the time to research both sides of this option before deciding what is right for them.

Here are some things to consider about this surrogacy path:

You must take on more responsibility for the screening and matching process. When you work with a matching professional, all intended parents presented to you will have already been screened and approved for the surrogacy process. When you find intended parents on your own, you will need to work with them to confirm you have the same surrogacy goals and preferences and that you all complete necessary screening before moving forward. Some surrogates prefer a professional handle these responsibilities.
There is a potential for finding intended parents who are not eligible for surrogacy. Because many intended parents do not undergo necessary screening before finding a surrogate online, intended parents who are perfect for your surrogacy goals and preferences may not be approved for the surrogacy process after your match. In this case, you would have to start your matching process all over again.
You may feel pressured into an independent surrogacy after finding intended parents on your own. Even if you choose to find intended parents on your own, you may wish to work with a surrogacy professional for the rest of your journey. However, when you find a match independently, there’s a higher chance that those intended parents will wish to complete a fully independent surrogacy. You may find yourself agreeing to a surrogacy process you did not originally desire in order to keep your “perfect” match.
There is more potential for scam or fraud when finding intended parents on your own. Again, because intended parents have usually not been screened before finding a surrogate independently, there is a higher risk of intended parents not being who they say they are or otherwise engaging you in a scam.
It may take longer to find the perfect match. Intended parents online have all kinds of different surrogacy goals and preferences and, when you don’t have a professional actively searching for you, it can take a long time to sort through all the potential matches to find the one that is perfect for you.

At American Surrogacy, we highly recommend that surrogates find intended parents through our pre-screened, intense matching services, rather than take the potential risks of matching on their own. To learn more about our matching program, please contact our surrogacy specialists today at 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

Our agency is also happy to work with surrogates who have already found intended parents to guide you through the rest of your identified surrogacy.

7 Lucky Surrogate Traditions for Your Transfer Day

The embryo transfer process can be one of the most exciting moments for you as a surrogate — but it can also be extremely nerve-wracking. All of your intended parents’ hopes and dreams will ride on the success of the embryo implanting, most of which is up to your doctor and your body.

While the likelihood of an embryo implanting is mostly out of your control, surrogates like you have developed a few fun transfer day traditions to bring luck and good vibes to a day that’s equal parts exciting and anxiety-inducing. Whether or not these traditions are proven to increase the chance of a successful embryo transfer, they can be great ways to channel your nervous energy and connect with other surrogates.

1. Lucky Socks

One of the biggest traditions that surrogates have on transfer day is wearing lucky socks during the embryo transfer procedure. Socks are usually the only item of clothing you can keep on during the medical procedure, and there’s an old Chinese saying that warm feet increase the chance of a warm and welcoming uterus.

2. “Sticky Thoughts”

Telling someone “sticky thoughts” is the surrogate’s way of saying good luck. This phrase comes from the idea that the stickier and thicker the uterus lining is, the more likely an embryo is to implant.

3. Pineapple

Before the embryo transfer procedure, many surrogates eat different food designed to increase the likelihood of implantation. One of these is pineapple, whether it’s the core or the surrounding fruit. Pineapple contains bromelain, which has strong anti-inflammatory properties. Therefore, it can be seen as a benefit for fertility in possibly preventing implantation issues for women.

Natural fertility experts caution against ingesting pineapple too early in your ovulation and after the transfer process. However, many surrogates heartily enjoy pineapple in the days leading up to their medical procedure.

4. French Fries

Many surrogates also eat French fries after transfer. It’s unclear how this tradition came about but, with a fresh transfer, doctors usually recommend an increase in sodium to reduce the chance of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome in egg donors. The word of beneficial salt in French fries has seemed to spread to gestational surrogates, even though they are not subject to OHSS through fresh egg harvesting. But you’ll rarely find a surrogate who will turn down French fries, no matter how much benefit they actually have in the implantation process!

5. Laughing After Transfer

Here’s an interesting one: A 2012 study in the journal of Fertility and Sterility stated that women who laugh shortly after an embryo transfer showed higher rates of successful implantation. For this reason, some surrogates decide to giggle it up right after transfer, like by watching a comedy when they’re often required to rest anyway. Laughter reduces stress, which can affect your body in many ways. It only makes sense that reducing this stress would increase the likelihood of an embryo implanting into a woman’s uterus.

6. Wearing Green

Green is a color that represents fertility, which is why you’ll see many surrogates wearing green lucky socks, painting their toes green, or just wearing green in general in the days leading up to their transfer day. Other colors like orange and yellow also represent fertility in other cultures.

7. Symbols of Turtles

Similarly, a turtle also represents fertility in many cultures, including Chinese, Polynesian and African cultures. In other cultures, it’s a symbol of good luck. Some surrogates decide to wear a turtle charm or symbol during their embryo transfer process to take advantage of those good vibes.

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Whether or not you are superstitious, these traditions can be a fun way to prepare for the embryo transfer process and connect to the larger community of surrogates out there. For more surrogate-specific tips and topics, check out surrogate forums like SurroMoms Online and All About Surrogacy.

You can also hear directly from surrogates and intended parents about what the process was like for them by checking us out on Instagram.

Navigating Your Surrogate Pregnancy at Work

One of the potentially complicated aspects of becoming a surrogate is working through — and taking time off for — your surrogate pregnancy. Because the child you’re carrying is not your own, you may worry about how your employer will accept and respond to your decision.

First off, know that your surrogacy is no one’s business but yours and your intended parents. Therefore, you are never obligated to tell your employer more than you feel comfortable with. In fact, some surrogates do not even reveal their surrogacy to their employer; they simply inform him or her of their plans for maternity leave.

A great deal of how you navigate being a surrogate at your office will be up to your workplace environment and your relationship with your boss and coworkers. However, the specialists at American Surrogacy will also be here to provide suggestions and support for this unique part of your surrogacy experience, and may be able to help advocate for the services and employer support you may need. For our assistance, please call 1-800-875-2229(BABY).

Below, we’ve outlined a few typical areas of concern for surrogates who plan to work through their pregnancy and provided some suggestions.

Telling Your Boss

No matter whether you choose to tell your workplace about your surrogacy plans, you will need to speak with your employer about your pregnancy. This way, they will be aware of any maternal leave you need to take and can prepare for your absence accordingly.

However, this conversation can sometimes be a bit complicated. How much do you tell your boss about your surrogacy plans, and when do you tell him or her about them?

When and how this conversation occurs will depend upon your personal relationship, but many surrogates choose to wait until after their pregnancy is confirmed or after their 20-week ultrasound to inform their boss. This way, they can avoid the awkwardness and complication of telling their boss about any miscarriage or failed transfers.

Whether or not you specifically tell your boss that your pregnancy is a surrogate pregnancy will be up to you. Many employers will actually be impressed by an employee’s selfless decision to become a surrogate.

Either way, it’s important that you make sure to specify when you are due, when you plan to take any leave (see below), and any extra accommodations you may require during your pregnancy.

Determining Benefits and Maternal Time Off

Despite the growing popularity of surrogacy, many employers do not have specific benefits for women who choose to become surrogates. You may be the first employee to approach your boss about surrogacy, which means you and your employer may need to work together to create a benefit and leave package that works for you.

While you will need to take maternal leave for your delivery and recovery, the good news is that many surrogates can return to their workplace earlier than if they had delivered their own child. They do not have to care for a newborn, and many return to work within a few weeks, if that. However, you should always pay attention to your body and its needs rather than rush back to work before you are ready.

Whether or not you will receive paid maternal leave will be up to your employer’s company policy. Like you would with any traditional pregnancy, speak in detail with your human resources department to determine what benefits will be available to you — and, if you have told them about your surrogate pregnancy, if and how your surrogacy will affect those benefits. Depending on the size of your company, you may be entitled to up to 12 weeks of unpaid, protected leave after birth as protected by federal law.

Keep in mind: Your surrogacy contract should list any lost wages you (or your spouse) anticipate from your surrogacy journey. The intended parents should reimburse you for that lost income.

Sharing Information with Your Coworkers

You will always have the right to share as much or as little information about your surrogacy with your coworkers as you feel comfortable with. However, keep in mind that news of your surrogate pregnancy will likely spread, and you may be faced with insensitive or uncomfortable comments and questions. If you do not specifically state that your pregnancy is a surrogacy, you may find yourself offered a baby shower at work or a similar celebration. It’s important to think about all of these possibilities when weighing how much to share about your personal surrogacy journey.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can take this as an opportunity to educate and spread awareness about the realities of the surrogacy process. Answer any questions you are comfortable answering and, when you aren’t, simply say something along the lines of, “My contract doesn’t allow me to divulge that information.”

Like your boss, many of your coworkers may end up being excited about your journey and congratulating you on your wonderful, selfless decision to help another person.

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There’s much discussion online on how surrogates handle their jobs during gestation. To connect directly to experienced surrogates, check in on our online communities.

Navigating your surrogate pregnancy at your workplace can be complicated, but preparation is a key part of making it a positive experience for you and your boss. If you have any questions about this situation, don’t hesitate to reach out to your surrogacy specialist today.