What Surrogates and Intended Parents Have to Say about Surrogacy
Surrogacy can be an amazing experience for surrogates, their families and intended parents. But, don’t take our word for it — see what surrogates and intended parents have to say about their surrogacy experiences.
To begin your journey as intended parents or as a gestational carrier, call American Surrogacy today at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin, contact us online at any time.
Why Surrogates Choose Surrogacy
1. “Choosing to be a surrogate and to have a surrogate, is a calling and not without heartfelt considerations.” — Amber, a surrogate
2. “The top reasons I chose to become a surrogate mother was to be pregnant again, to enjoy pregnancy. To help a family, a couple that wasn’t able to have another child. To just give back in some way that not many people think about. But, that’s something easy that you can do and it’s selfless, and it’s something actually fun.” — Alicia, a surrogate
3. “The top reasons I wanted to become a surrogate were to help a family. I enjoy being pregnant, so that wasn’t a problem. It was also going to financially benefit us, so it was good timing, a good fit for us at that point.” — Codi, a surrogate
4. “I initially chose to become involved in surrogacy because I watched some very dear friends struggle with infertility. I knew they would be amazing parents and it broke my heart that they may not have the opportunity to have a family of their own… As a bonus, I also happen to LOVE being pregnant! I have four children, including a set of twins. And yes, even pregnant with twins, I enjoyed it! — Delicia, a surrogate
5. “Becoming a mom completely changed my life in the most unimaginable way. My son is 6 and I cannot imagine my world without him. After watching several friends face infertility, I realized I could help others who were unable to have their own children. After almost 6 months of research and thinking about the impact surrogacy would have on me and my son, I…made one of the most rewarding decisions of my life.” — Chelsie, a surrogate
6. “Surrogacy was something I had wanted to do for a long time, after having watched a friend struggle with their own fertility and knowing how great of a mother she would be.” — Amanda, a surrogate
7. “My first interest in surrogacy came long before I had children of my own, during the time in which my sister was currently carrying twins for a family who could not conceive themselves…” Kelli said. “After I birthed my second child, I felt that my family was complete and began my research into surrogacy to ensure it was still on the table. It was truly the love I hold for my children that confirmed surrogacy was for me. As many surrogates will say, I could not imagine my life without my children, and wanted to provide every opportunity for a family to be able to say the same thing.” — Kelli, a surrogate
8. “I became a surrogate from sheer fate. A dear friend of mine had asked if I would be her surrogate. I thought, ‘Surrogate?! That’s a thing?’…Three months later [my friend] was pregnant. However, I was left with the thought of having a baby for someone else. My husband and I were done having more babies, I enjoyed pregnancy and thought, if I could be pregnant and help create a family that I would look into it.” — Alex, a surrogate
9. “I first considered becoming a surrogate while visiting Disney World with my family,” Alexis said. “When I was there, I was overcome with pure joy for the memories we were creating with our three boys. It was like the joy you get at Christmas. It made my heart ache for those who truly want to have this experience but can’t due to health reasons.” — Alexis, a surrogate
10. “Once you put yourself in somebody’s else’s shoes, there’s really no turning back, once you see the struggle and the pain, and you wish you could just help everybody,” Megan said. “I said to [my husband], ‘If we couldn’t have children, what would you want? What would you want somebody else to do for us?’” — Megan, a surrogate
The Surrogacy Motto: “Hurry Up and Wait.”
11. “When you want a baby, you want it right now — you wanted it yesterday — so it’s very, very hard to be patient, but in the end, it’s worth it,” Lindsey said. “You want it to be a happy ending for everyone and, if you’re patient, it will come.” — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents
12. “Hurry up and wait. You’re like, ‘Yeah, let’s go get pregnant right now!’ and then you’re like pre-screening, medical screening, psych, contracts…literally it took me two years and all of that time, I was waiting for this moment [when the IPs meet their baby].” — Cassie, a surrogate
13. “I was so excited and my husband was completely supportive and on board but I had no idea what to expect. The next few months consisted of meetings, medical record reviews, appointments with fertility clinics and of course, our match meeting…We knew this journey would be life-changing, and it has greatly bonded my family while adding a new extended family. As we approach our third trimester with our IPs’ first little boy, we are filled with so much excitement and love.” — Amanda, a surrogate
14. “I began the medications, and between the parents, [surrogacy agency], and family, I had people checking on me often to ensure everything felt right. We had the first transfer…and I was confirmed pregnant. It was an amazing feeling knowing we were on our way.” — Kelli, a surrogate
The Moment that Every Surrogate is Waiting for
15. “The surrogacy surpassed all of my expectations. I wanted to help a family and I loved being pregnant, but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming feelings when I saw the dads holding their twins for the first time after delivery! My heart could have burst! It wasn’t just happiness I saw on their faces, but a sense of wholeness. They had the missing pieces from their lives. I immediately told myself: ‘If I am approved to do this again, I will.’ Knowing the difference I’d made and the lives changed through the birth of those sweet twins was so fulfilling.” — Delicia, a surrogate
16. “The first [embryo transfer] was a success! I couldn’t wait to share the news with my intended family. My biggest hope was that I could keep this bun baking to full term so this family could be blessed with a happy, healthy baby… a less stressful welcome to the world than their previous pregnancies.” — Chelsea, a surrogate
17. “WOW, I helped them become dads! They were so full of love, joy, awe, excitement and nervousness at being new parents, but never stopped checking in on me to make sure I was doing well.” — Chelsie, a surrogate
18. “Being able to help give something to someone they may have not had the chance to otherwise is a wonderful feeling. I am most looking forward to seeing our IPs hold and raise this child they have longed for.” — Amanda, a surrogate
19. “From the success of the second transfer to the birth, the little one grew perfectly and was wonderfully (and thankfully) easy to carry every step of the way. I gave birth to a little girl just 4 days before my birthday…the parents were unable to attend, a moment I’d wanted so badly to witness. We sent them many pictures and offered to care for the baby until they arrived…It was close to midnight for the IPs, so they wished us a good day and signed off by saying excitedly, ‘Take care of our little girl!’ My heart swelled for them.” — Kelli, a surrogate
20. “I was so excited to see my intended parents hold their daughter for the first time. As I had been watching them prepare for parenthood and decorate her nursery, I couldn’t wait to see them feed her, change her, love her. As a mother and parent I know that feeling and for them, the moment she was born, I knew they felt the same exact way. — Alex, a surrogate
21. “It was such a fulfilling experience to see my IPs head home as a family.” — Maggie, a surrogate
22. “It was the moment that I had been waiting for, it was just like all of this work and that [moment] was the pay-off…I loved my first journey so much that I decided to do it again.” — Cassie, a surrogate
The Gestational Carrier/Intended Parent Relationship
23. “I think what made it was the connection — the very first connection,” Nichole says. “I think if you have the right match, you will have an extended family for the rest of your life… I chose to go with American [Surrogacy] because Angie was also worried about finding me the perfect match, and that’s what I wanted.” — Nichole, a surrogate
24. “Now I am on my second and final journey as surrogate,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I felt so much happiness providing a baby to a wonderful family that I decided to do it again. The new family I’m working with feels like I have been best friends with them for 20 years. They are so kind and grateful for the chance to have a baby. It is going to be a great experience that will end in a friendship for a lifetime.”
25. “We were very lucky that we got pregnant with our little baby girl, Freia. Our surrogate was so loving towards our baby, she also told her children about her, and they all called her by her name and spoke with her during the pregnancy, which we are so grateful for, she could never have been in better hands.” — Anne-Marie and Igor, intended parents
26. “[The surrogacy] team found us the most amazing woman to be our surrogate and carry our baby girl. She is just an excellent match for us! We have created a very unique relationship with her and her family! …Now our first baby girl is in our arms and our dreams have come true! We are looking forward to our next journey…in the very near future!” — Jasmine and Victor, intended parents
27. “We started the matching process…I got to meet my intended parents, we did contracts and matched. Once all of that was taken care of it became very much about building a relationship with my intended parents so that they felt comfortable trusting someone with their child, and then also for me so that I didn’t feel just like a body. That relationship was really important for me.” — Codi, a surrogate
28. “My life has changed so much since having been a surrogate…I have had one very successful surrogacy journey that resulted in me delivering a beautiful baby girl to the most amazing couple, of whom I remain good friends with!” — Anonymous surrogate
29. “Even though they lived around the world, they were involved, supportive and very open and communication was easy. They built a solid relationship with me, my parents, and my son. Once, in my 2nd trimester, I mentioned to the dads that sleeping was becoming uncomfortable. Days later, I came home from work and had a delivery on my front porch — they had bought me a pregnancy body pillow! This is just one of the many sweet things they did for me and my family.” — Chelsie, a surrogate
30. “But, I believe I was most grateful for the opportunity to select the family as much as the family is able to select me. It is important in this journey to feel comfortable and happy…when choosing my path.” — Kelli, a surrogate
31. “As a first-time surrogate, I knew that helping someone have a family was something I wanted to do, however, I had no idea how life-changing this would be. I was matched with a wonderful couple — it could not have been any better of a match. For this couple, I carried twins, a boy and a girl…When I look back on my experience, I realize that I have given a couple a beautiful family, gained a good friend [the intended mother], and developed a new level of closeness with my husband. I am changed forever in a beautiful way!” — Nicole, a surrogate
32. “You get [to give] your baby kisses and smooches, and I get to love on [the intended parents], too,” Megan says. “I didn’t just have babies for somebody else; I gained an entire family through the whole process….It was the most rewarding thing in the entire world. I would do it all over again.” — Megan, a surrogate
33. “Nicholas told our children that Julian is their cousin from Miami… It’s amazing to me that we have such a great relationship.” — Nichole, a surrogate
34. “For some surrogates, it’s a goodbye: ‘Thanks for everything you did; I’m out.’ But it just wasn’t like that,” Nichole said. “It was, ‘We love you guys, we’ll see you later, thanks so much’ — that kind of relationship.” — Nichole, a surrogate
How Surrogates Explain Surrogacy to Their Kids
35. “I told my children that it’s just like when we buy supplies or Christmas gifts for needy children – we are helping a family have a baby they can’t have on their own,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I told my boys, ‘If I could never make these amazing memories with you, I would be heartbroken.’ We are allowing someone else to create happy memories and complete a hole in their hearts.’ I have always believed in teaching my kids compassion for others and we are here on this earth to help one another, not to be self-consumed. What better way of showing this but by example of helping a family have a child!”
36. “My kids and my [intended parents] are very close. They Skype with us and send presents on holidays and birthdays and my kids/surrokids refer to themselves as ‘siblings of the heart.’ The experience has been an amazing way for my kids to learn compassion for others and the importance of using what you have available to help others.” — Delicia, a surrogate
37. “Since the beginning, my husband and I have been very open with our two boys (ages 5 and 3) about our plans for surrogacy and even brought them to our match meeting, and to meet with our IPs in person, as we felt if we wanted a lifetime connection, our children were just as big of a part of that.” — Amanda, a surrogate
38. “[The intended parents] were involved with my kids, and my daughter knew they were the parents of the baby I was pregnant with and that this baby had no ties to mommy. My son just thought I ate all of his toys.” — Alex, a surrogate
39. “Kids are so nonjudgmental. They don’t have that in their brains yet, so they’re like, ‘cool mom’ and they get it…With our IPs I told my smallest that [the intended mother’s] tummy is broken, mommy’s is not, and we’re just going to help them have a family like I have a family.” — Rose, a surrogate
40. “Nobody’s been able to tell [your kids] that [surrogacy is] weird or that there’s anything different about it. They’re just like, ‘OK they need help having a baby — mommy can help them have a baby,’ and that’s perfectly enough for them.” — Cassie, a surrogate
41. “I was just open and honest with them throughout the whole process. They were really young when I started, but I talked to them and laid it out for them, even in their young age, I explained to them what was going to happen. I wanted to make sure that they understand. I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable with the process before I even moved forward. And I think if you do it like that they just kind of take it and that’s what it is and they just accept it…They’re not going to think it’s weird unless you tell them it’s weird.” — Ami, a surrogate
Surrogacy Can Influence Positive Change in Your Family, Your Friends and Yourself
42. “I have always been a giver by nature and…I thought, ‘This is an amazing gift!’ Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I will be honest – my husband thought I was crazy but…he admitted he was very intrigued by the money. How things change! After our first [surrogacy] meeting, he said, ‘This is truly the greatest gift that you can give.’”
43. “We were all able to grow in this experience, and it taught us a greater appreciation for what we have and who we are. Surrogacy helped me appreciate the profound luck that many of us have with conceiving and birthing our children and helped me bring about a greater respect for those that cannot. — Kelli, a surrogate
44. “[My dad] was not supportive at all…But, he’s done a complete turnaround…It’s a humbling experience for everybody that you come in contact with and it’s definitely a growth experience for me, I know, and for people like my dad.” — Rose, a surrogate
45. “It helped open a lot of people’s eyes to surrogacy. My mom was one that whenever I told her, ‘I think I want to be a surrogate,’ she was one of those people that was like, ‘How does that work? I don’t understand the whole process.’ But then now, at the end of it, she was so proud of me and proud of what I was able to help these people get. Any chance that she has she tells people about me.” — Cassi, a surrogate
46. “Once people find out how the whole [surrogacy] process works and everything, a lot of the time they change their tune. Once they realize that it’s not malicious or you’re not doing anything wrong that you’re genuinely just helping people.” — Cassie, a surrogate
The Hardest Part of Surrogacy is…
47. “Of course, there are challenges in the process, like the shots and medications, and the strong feeling of not wanting to disappoint anyone, and even wondering if it would be difficult to say goodbye to the baby,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “But as the journey progressed, I was so eager for the family to meet their little one. The shots were hard; but like childbirth, you quickly forget the pain.”
48. “As surrogates, I don’t think we can imagine the potential emotional stress and challenges that are ahead. My IPs and I have had our smiles and our tears. Having someone qualified and experienced…makes the whole process and experience smoother and more enjoyable for all.” — Susan, a surrogate
49. “Anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that pregnancy is a stressful time, no matter how ideal. Carrying a baby for someone else has the potential to be even more stressful…Even though I didn’t have any major issues, it was comforting to know that someone was available, day or night, if I needed them for anything!” — Suzie, a surrogate
50. “I am in my second surrogate relationship and have found that it is an emotional roller coaster no matter who you’re coupled with…For me it has made all the difference in the world to have that personal relationship with [a surrogacy agency] who cares about my journey.” — Jovita, a surrogate
51. “The hardest part about being a surrogate is being pregnant, it’s the best and the hardest part because you’re giving up a part of your life for somebody else. It’s not even for your own family; it’s for someone else’s family to have this precious gift. And I believe that’s the hardest part that you have to put a part of your life on pause for nine plus months to give someone else a gift.” — Alicia, a surrogate
52. “The hardest part for me about being a surrogate was the weight of carrying somebody else’s joy and happiness. You carry your own, and you love them immensely, and you know that you would do the best things for them, but when you’re carrying somebody else’s you have all of those feelings, but you feel like you have to prove to someone, ‘I promise I’m taking care of him to the best of my ability.’ I found myself worrying about things that I didn’t worry about with my own son. That was the hardest part. By the end of the journey I was very much ready to not be responsible for somebody else’s joy and prized possession.” — Codi, a surrogate
53. “Unfortunately, we lost the baby the following August. It was an event that was always a possibility, but it still caught me off guard. It was the only fear I had going into the process and it had happened. I could not believe the outpouring of support the IPs and I received from all the agencies. The IPs even extended their condolences to me, which is the least selfish thing I have ever experienced. They were eager for another transfer and we tried again…” — Kelli, a surrogate
54. “Due to her prematurity, the baby had some difficulties breathing on her own and had to be whisked away in the middle of the night to a proper NICU almost 2 hours away. I believe hormones played a role, but this was the only moment in my surrogacy that I felt helpless. I had cared for this little being for almost 9 months and protected her, but now I couldn’t do anything to help her, and her IPs were not yet here to hold her…I was suddenly alone with the thought that I had failed. In hindsight, I know that this thought was misguided, but I was devastated…and very concerned for the baby…It was a unique emotion, but the other hospital called me regularly to update her status…and the IPs and I talked as much as possible until they arrived. As soon as I was well enough to leave the hospital, I immediately traveled to the NICU. Baby girl and her parents were all cozy in their own private room. I had missed the moment they were united as a family for the first time, the moment I’d dreamed about since day one, but it didn’t matter. You could almost feel the love and excitement in the room…It was almost overwhelming. The baby was released from the hospital in less than a week, and she is now home with two loving parents and an extended group of family and friends that have waited years for her arrival.” — Kelli, a surrogate
Reimbursement and Compensation
55. “When I started the process I always thought, ‘I could probably do it without compensation, like I just really want to do this.’ However, I think it’s important now that I’ve gone through it, to say it was very valuable. The compensation made it feel like I was valued in that sense.” — Codi, a surrogate
56. “I did not know what I was going to do with the money ahead of time. The first time around I did know that I was going to go to nursing school with the money, which I did get to do that, and that was very helpful. The second time around…I used the money for expenses and also for my daughter. Trips with her, we went on vacations a lot. I used a lot of the money for her…to show my appreciation for her being so understanding and just a great little helper while I was going through the process.” — Alicia, a surrogate
57. “For me, surrogacy was a great experience I hope to repeat again one day when my husband and I both finish school, hopefully debt-free thanks to the compensation!” — Kelli, a surrogate
58. “The first time I did it to make a difference in the world,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “I wanted to show my children how to help others and that giving is a great thing. This time I am excited to give the gift of a child but I’m doing it for my family. We spent the first money on home improvements and a trip, but this time I am doing it for financial peace. We plan on paying off both our cars and student loans. This will free up $900 in our monthly bills! We will save that extra money and plan to travel more with our kids. It is allowing us to do more without hurting us financially and paying off our debt will save us over $10,000 a year! So yes, my motives have slightly shifted for the second surrogacy but in the end, a wonderful family will get the baby they so eagerly await!”
59. “This journey has changed our life in so many positive ways. Aside from the financial gain that we are experiencing, being able to save for a house and build our savings, we have been able to positively educate people on gestational surrogacy and teach our children the act of giving.” — Amanda, a surrogate
Surrogates Believe Surrogacy is Worth It
60. “I can tell you now it is worth every second, and every up and every down. Surrogacy is worth it, 110%.” — Megan, a surrogate
61. “I was very happy that they had their child. I at no point wanted to take their child home nor did I feel like it actually belonged to me. I did not have that portion, I didn’t feel like a piece of me was missing. I felt like I did something good for someone else, and it was their child to have. I was glad that I was able to carry their child for them.” — Alicia, a surrogate
62. “The journey was so much more rewarding than I could ever have imagined!” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “From little things, like hearing the parents cry with joy when they found out I was pregnant, to the breathtaking ultrasound with the grandparents in the room. I will never forget the grandpa crying when he learned his family name would carry on and that the baby was a boy! There was not one dry eye in the room.”
63. “On this Mother’s Day evening…I am reflecting on how I made someone a mother of 2 beautiful healthy babies which she could never have on her own,” Jessika, a surrogate, said. “Wish I could do it for many more women out there. What a dream come true.”
64. “The entire experience of being pregnant again, being a surrogate, and helping a couple have a baby was all that I had hoped it would be…Though I have to wait a while before I can be a surrogate again due to my own medical reasons, it is something I feel I would like to repeat.” — Charleen, a surrogate
65. “When the baby was delivered I was very relieved, first off, and then very excited because the parents were in the room so they got to see the baby and everyone was already coming up to me saying ‘thank you’ and kisses and hugs. It was just a great experience and I felt really proud of what I did at that time. Even afterwards, when the baby came to visit me the next day, I was very grateful to be a part of this experience and they were grateful for me having the child for them and you could see it in everyone’s face, and they tell you, and it was just a lot of love and joy in the room and it was a great thing to be a part of.” — Alicia, a surrogate
66. “I never felt attached to the baby in the same way I felt attached to my own, but I did get very attached to the adventure…,” Kelli said. “There were a few individuals who said I would regret it, but I am happy to state that I definitely do not, and knew I never would.” — Kelli, a surrogate
67. “You are giving the ultimate gift,” Alexis, a surrogate, said. “There are so many great people out there that want a child but can’t do it without help. You were blessed with a body that cannot only give you a family but could help build another!”
68. “I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. It just made me feel so fulfilled, so happy, so blessed to be able to do that for a family.” — Ami, a surrogate
69. “Surrogacy allowed me to fulfill a dream that I had always wanted to do. I wanted to give the biggest gift possible and, to me, that was life. I got to fulfill that and I got to watch the emotions and I get to see the joy and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.” — Megan, a surrogate
What Intended Parents Say About Surrogacy and Their Gestational Carriers
70. “It means more than the world; only very selfless people could do that,” Nicholas said. “It’s such a huge commitment from a woman to carry a child — mentally, emotionally, physically — I can’t even realize it. I will be forever, forever grateful to [my surrogate], Nichole.” — Nicholas, intended parent
71. “One of the first things [Megan] said to me was, ‘I’m not in this for the money,’” Lindsey said. “She wasn’t going to just do it for anybody; she wanted a family that she felt a connection with. That meant a lot to me.” — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents
72. “I never thought that [the surrogacy relationship] would go from complete stranger to best friend and a relationship that will always be there, so that’s pretty neat,” Lindsey said. — Lindsey and Shiloh, intended parents
73. “So I try to repay [our surrogate] in any way I can. Just any little thing that makes her feel loved – just anything to say ‘thank you, thank you, thank you for helping make me a mom!’” — Jenn and Brad, intended parents
74. “We got our dream baby, but more than that we met amazing people along the way and had renewed faith in humanity and the kindness and love that can get you through tough chapters in life.” — Katie and Bryn, intended parents
75. “My husband and I had a beautiful girl on Feb. 26., and I can’t describe how happy and excited we are…We liked our surrogate very much, she is amazing and a wonderful woman…We are ready for a second child now, and hope that… we can have a second child next year.” — Sunny, intended parent
76. “My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for eight years…[our surrogacy agency] has…provided us a wonderful surrogate, who is a beautiful spirit and a lovely person whom I believe is a true gift to us and our future child!” — Tamara, intended parent
77. “[Our surrogacy agency] paired us with a wonderful surrogate…and ultimately to a successful result. As we write this, our surrogate is carrying our next pair of twins! …It’s been a wonderful experience.” — Mike and Lisa, intended parents
78. “This is an incredible thing to do with your life, to give the gift of carrying someone’s child, so I am very grateful and feel very blessed and grateful to [my surrogate].” — Ellen Pompeo, intended mother
Why People Love American Surrogacy
79. “You need someone that you’re going to trust to choose a surrogate for you, and American Surrogacy was the only agency I felt comfortable with and was genuine enough for me to choose over the other agencies. I spoke to many surrogacy agencies — small and big — and none of them made me feel the way American Surrogacy made me feel. The people (at American Surrogacy) really cared about what they were doing, and this is the main, main thing you have to find. Everyone over there cared about me and what I wanted. ” –Nicholas, intended father
80. “When I researched American [Surrogacy], they had a lot of information on their website — information you could obtain without submitting your information first. I submitted my information and immediately I got a response back. [My American Surrogacy specialist] wasn’t in it just to have her company make money. She was very sincere in finding out how I was and finding me a good match. She worked really hard to do so, and that match was amazing.” –Nichole, surrogate
To begin your journey as intended parents or as a gestational surrogate, call American Surrogacy today at 1-800-875-BABY (2229). If you meet the requirements to become a surrogate and you’re ready to begin, contact us online at any time.