Adoption vs. Surrogacy for Gay Couples [Pros and Cons]

Starting a family as a gay couple comes with unique choices, including surrogacy and adoption.

Starting a family is an exciting journey, and selecting the right path can be an opportunity to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.

If you’re considering surrogacy vs. adoption, the most important thing is finding what works best for your unique family goals. Some couples are drawn to surrogacy for the biological connection, while others feel adoption aligns with their vision of giving a child a permanent home. There’s no right or wrong answer — only the path that feels right for you.

Are you ready to begin your family-building journey? We’re here to help. You can get more information about gestational surrogacy by filling out our online form. If you’re considering adoption, you can find out more about the process through our sister agency, American Adoptions.

Keep reading to learn more about surrogacy, adoption and the pros and cons of each option.

What Is the Difference Between Surrogacy and Adoption?

Surrogacy involves a surrogate carrying a child for another couple or individual. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate carries an embryo created through in vitro fertilization (IVF). As a gay couple, surrogacy provides you with the opportunity to be genetically connected to your child. This process also allows you to have more control over the process and be involved in the pregnancy process from start to finish.

Adoption, on the other hand, means you are legally adopting a child who is not biologically related to you. This path allows you to provide a home for a child who may be in need. While adoption offers its own emotional rewards, the process can involve additional legal steps, and the timeline may vary depending on when you are chosen by a birth mother and other factors.

Surrogacy vs. Adoption: Surrogacy

There are several important factors to consider if you want to grow your family through gestational surrogacy:

Pros

  • Genetic connection

    Surrogacy allows at least you or your partner to have a biological connection to your child. For many gay couples, this link provides a deeper bond.

  • Shorter wait times

    On average, couples pursuing surrogacy wait one to six months to match with a gestational carrier.

  • You choose the surrogate

    You can personally get to know your surrogate. This can ensure that your values and expectations align throughout the process.

  • Surrogates are thoroughly screened

    Surrogacy agencies conduct rigorous screenings, including medical, psychological and background checks, to ensure that gestational carriers are healthy and emotionally prepared for the process.

Cons

  • Cost

    Surrogacy can be expensive. However, we are fully transparent about adoption vs. surrogacy costs. Our services are designed to ensure a smooth, successful surrogacy journey, so you know exactly what you're investing in.

Surrogacy vs. Adoption: Adoption

Adoption is another path to parenthood. Here are several important factors to consider before choosing this route:

Pros

  • Provide a child with a home

    Many children, including infants and older children, are waiting for families. Adoption allows you to give a child in need a loving, stable home.

  • Cost

    When considering the cost of adoption vs. surrogacy, adoption can be more affordable. Private adoptions typically start at ,000, and adopting through foster care is often free or inexpensive.

Cons

  • Long wait times

    Adoption can have unpredictable wait times, often stretching from several months to several years. This extended timeline can be challenging for couples eager to start their family.

  • Unpredictability

    The adoption process can come with uncertainties. For instance, expecting parents have the right to change their mind about placing their baby for adoption.

  • Must wait to be chosen

    In domestic infant adoption, hopeful parents must wait to be selected by an expecting parent. It can take time to find the right match, and there is no guarantee when — or if — it will happen.

Adoption vs. Surrogacy Cost

Surrogacy is a significant financial investment, but it’s one that offers substantial benefits in the long run. While the upfront costs may be higher than adoption, they provide access to a range of services and resources that could help ensure a faster, more secure path to parenthood.

  • Short wait times: The costs associated with surrogacy contribute to shorter wait times because they cover essential services. Surrogate screening, matching and marketing streamline the process, helping you quickly fulfill your goal of becoming a parent.

  • Transparency: As a large national surrogacy agency, we have helped hundreds of couples achieve their dreams of parenthood. Our extensive experience allows us to be completely transparent about the costs involved and the services we provide.

  • Financial protection: Surrogacy is an investment in your future family. We understand how important your goals and dreams are, which is why we offer financial protection. This ensures that unexpected challenges won’t compromise your family-building journey.

Legal Considerations for Adoption and Surrogacy

The legal processes involved in adoption and surrogacy can be complex, especially for LGBTQ couples.

In adoption, the laws vary widely depending on where you live. In some places, same-sex couples face additional hurdles or legal requirements to complete an adoption. It’s essential to work with an adoption agency familiar with the laws in your state or country to navigate any challenges.

In surrogacy, legal parentage can be more straightforward for gay couples. Many states and countries have clear laws recognizing both partners as legal parents when using a gestational surrogate. However, surrogacy laws also vary, especially when it comes to traditional and gestational surrogacy. It’s important to ensure your contract and legal documentation cover all necessary aspects, including your parental rights, the surrogate’s rights and more.

Whether you pursue adoption or surrogacy, it’s crucial to understand how local laws might impact your journey. Working with experienced professionals ensures your family-building process is legally protected every step of the way.

Gay Adoption vs. Surrogacy Success Rates

Surrogacy has a high success rate for gay couples, particularly with gestational surrogacy. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in vitro fertilization with a donor egg has a success rate of 52%. The CDC also reports that gestational surrogates have higher rates of implantation, pregnancy and live births, so that percentage could be higher.

In contrast, adoption success can depend on various factors, including the availability of birth mothers and matching with a child. Both paths can ultimately lead to successful outcomes. However, surrogacy often offers a more predictable timeline and a higher chance of success when it comes to creating your family.

Choosing Between Gay Adoption or Surrogacy

The choice between surrogacy vs. adoption comes down to what feels right for your family. If a genetic connection is important to you and you want to be involved in the pregnancy from day one, surrogacy might be the best choice. On the other hand, if you feel called to adopt and provide a home for a child, adoption could be your path forward.

If you’re ready to explore gestational surrogacy, contact us today to learn more about the process. If adoption feels like the right choice, our sister agency, American Adoptions, can help you get started on that journey, too. No matter which path you choose, we're here to help you build the family of your dreams.