Coming to terms with the fact that you can’t use your own sperm to build your family can be challenging. It’s natural to feel emotions that are hard to process, such as infertility grief.
Grief isn't limited to the loss of a person. You can grieve the loss of goals or plans that didn’t come to pass, like the dream of building a family with a biological connection. It’s normal to mourn the version of parenthood you envisioned.
In this article, we’ll talk about the reasons why you might need a sperm donor, what you might be feeling and how to manage your grief. If you ever need someone to talk to, reach out to talk with one of our surrogacy specialists. We understand how hard coping with infertility grief can be, and we’re ready to lend an ear or help you explore your options.
There are several medical conditions that may lead to the need for a sperm donor when pursuing IVF. Using a donor may be the best option if any of the following conditions are present: Low sperm count or poor sperm quality Genetic disorders that could be passed to a child Blockages or issues with sperm delivery Previous cancer treatments affecting sperm production Azoospermia (absence of sperm) The decision to use a sperm donor can come from a place of both loss and hope. Realizing that a biological conception isn't possible can trigger infertility grief. But for many, the desire to become a parent outweighs the pain. Using a sperm donor becomes a way to fulfill your dream of building a family.When Do You Need a Sperm Donor for IVF?
How Do Men Feel About Using a Sperm Donor? [5 Emotions]
Infertility grief can manifest in many ways. Here are some emotions you may experience as you look into using a sperm donor:
Realizing that your body won’t cooperate with your goals can be painful. You might mourn the dream of parenthood as you once pictured it. The struggle to conceive can leave you feeling frustrated with your body or the situation. You might experience jealousy toward others who are able to have biological children. You may feel guilty about needing a sperm donor, especially if you worry about how it affects your partner or future child.
Coping with infertility grief is a personal journey, but there are steps you can take to manage your emotions and find peace. Here are some ways to work through your grief: You may need time to process your feelings. Meditation, exercise, taking a break from fertility discussions and other forms of self-care can allow you to reflect and recharge. Fertility counselors specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate the emotional challenges of infertility. A counselor can offer professional guidance on how to manage your grief. Open communication with your partner and loved ones can make a big difference. Sharing your feelings helps them understand what you're going through, and their support can be a powerful source of comfort. Connecting with others who are experiencing similar struggles can help you feel less alone. Support groups provide a safe space to share your story with others who understand. Focusing on your future family can provide hope and motivation. While the path may be different from what you envisioned, using a sperm donor can still lead to the joy of parenthood.How to Deal With Infertility Grief
Does IVF With Donor Sperm Always Work?
IVF with donor sperm can help you will fertility challenges, such as low sperm count, poor motility or a lack of viable embryos. However, while donor sperm can enhance the chances of success, it does not guarantee a pregnancy. If you continue to experience difficulties achieving or maintaining a pregnancy after using donor sperm, there may be underlying issues with the uterine environment.
In these situations, gestational surrogacy might be the best option for building your family. With surrogacy, you can create embryos using your own sperm and eggs or donor gametes. Instead of transferring an embryo to your uterus, you would transfer it to a gestational carrier. This option can help you overcome medical challenges that prevent you from carrying a pregnancy yourself.
If you’re interested in growing your family through gestational surrogacy, you can view available surrogacy situations online.
You don’t have to go through this journey alone. There are organizations and resources available to help you navigate infertility and provide emotional support. Consider reaching out to: Resolve: The National Infertility Association. This nonprofit organization can connect you with infertility support groups and counseling services. Family Equality. On this nonprofit’s website, you can find peer support spaces, LGBTQ-friendly providers and information on building your family. American Society for Reproductive Medicine. The organization manages a website with factual information on fertility treatments and having children. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This federal public health organization offers an online guide to assisted reproductive technology.Support for Grief and Infertility
Processing Grief and Moving Forward
It’s important to take the time to process your infertility grief. Although using a sperm donor means that you won’t have a genetic connection to your child, it doesn’t mean you can’t still build a family.
When you’re ready, you can take the next step toward fulfilling your dream of becoming a parent. Our surrogacy specialists are here to walk you through your fertility options and offer support every step of the way. Reach out through our online contact form or call 1-800-875-BABY to get in touch. We’re here to help you through this difficult time and into a future full of hope.