How to Choose an Egg Donor as a Gay Couple [9 Tips]

Before you can create embryos as a gay couple, you need to choose an egg donor.

 

As a gay couple pursuing surrogacy, finding the right egg donor will allow you to create embryos and take a big step toward building your family.

When you choose an egg donor, you set the foundation for the family you’ve always dreamed of. The traits you prioritize — whether they’re related to background, personality or appearance — can help ensure your child feels connected to you and your partner.

Below, you’ll discover everything you need to know about choosing an egg donor. If you’re ready to take the next step in your family-building journey, reach out today. We can help you find a fertility clinic to create embryos and send you a surrogacy planning questionnaire to fill out.

Can You Choose Your Egg Donor?

Yes. Selecting a donor means you’re choosing the genetic building blocks for your child. The egg donor will contribute half of your child’s DNA. It’s an exciting opportunity, but it can also feel like a lot of pressure because there are so many options.

Taking the time to carefully review donor profiles and consider what matters most to you will help guide you through this process. You will want to look for someone whose traits reflect the family you want to create. Whether you prioritize ethnicity, personality or other factors is up to you — this is a personal decision.

How to Choose an Egg Donor [9 Tips]

When choosing an egg donor, there are several important factors to keep in mind. Here’s how to choose an egg donor that meets your needs:

1. Medical History
 

All egg donors undergo thorough medical, genetic and psychological screenings. This helps prevent the transmission of infectious diseases, minimizes the risk of passing on genetic conditions and ensures the donor is emotionally stable. You’ll want to review the results of these screenings on egg donor profiles.

2. Blood Type
 

Choosing an egg donor with a compatible blood type can be useful if your child ever needs a blood transfusion or donation. However, it’s important to understand that your child’s blood type will be a combination of the egg donor’s and sperm provider’s genes.

3. Ethnicity
 

You can choose the ethnicity of your egg donor. If preserving your ethnic heritage is important, finding a donor who shares the same ethnicity might be a top priority. This can help your child feel a sense of cultural connection and identity.

4. Physical Characteristics
 

Many intended parents want their children to resemble them. If this is important to you, consider choosing an egg donor who shares similar physical traits, such as hair color, height or facial features. Egg donor profile photos can help you make this decision.

5. Personality
 

Personality traits are believed to be moderately heritable, meaning your child could inherit similar traits from the donor. If certain qualities matter to you, look for donors whose personalities align with your vision.

6. Hobbies and Interests
 

Sharing hobbies and interests with your egg donor may help you feel a stronger connection to them. Whether it’s shared passions for sports, arts or religion, this can make you feel more at ease with your choice.

7. Education and Job
 

You may have specific hopes for your child’s future, such as excelling academically or following a certain career path. Choosing a donor with an educational background or job that aligns with these aspirations can be a way to match your vision for your child.

8. Egg Donation History
 

Some egg donors have a history of successful donations. While this might indicate a higher chance of success, it also means your child may have “donor siblings.” If this is something you’re open to, it’s worth considering.

9. Level of Anonymity
 

You will need to decide whether you want a known or anonymous donor. Some intended parents prefer an open relationship, while others are more comfortable with limited or no contact. Consider what works best for your family dynamic.

Deciding Between an Anonymous vs. Known Egg Donor

One of the key decisions you’ll need to make is whether you want an anonymous or known egg donor. An anonymous donor doesn’t reveal their identity and may prefer to remain completely unknown. However, some anonymous donors are open to limited contact, such as a one-time phone call or video chat.

On the other hand, a known egg donor may want to maintain a relationship with the child and family. This could be a friend or family member or someone you find through an agency who is open to future contact. The right choice depends on what you’re comfortable with and what questions you anticipate your child might have about their biological background.

 

Where to View Egg Donor Profiles

When it comes to finding the right egg donor, there are several resources available to help you. The three most common sources are egg donor agencies, egg banks and fertility clinics.

  • Egg Donor Agencies

    Egg donor agencies specialize in matching intended parents with donors. They typically provide a wide variety of egg donor profiles featuring photos, medical information and personal details. Agencies often offer a high level of support and can guide you through the matching process.

  • Egg Banks

    This potential source stores frozen eggs from donors. Egg banks allow for a quicker process because the eggs are already available and ready to be used for in vitro fertilization or gestational surrogacy. Egg banks may not offer as extensive profiles as agencies, but they’re a practical choice if you’re ready to move forward with choosing an egg donor.

  • Fertility Clinics

    Some fertility clinics may offer their own egg donor programs. These clinics can be a convenient one-stop-shop for creating embryos and handling the surrogacy embryo transfer. They typically have a smaller selection of donors, but the convenience of working directly with your clinic may be appealing.

How to Select the Best Egg Donor

Some intended parents have specific ideas of what they’re looking for in an egg donor, such as someone who attended an Ivy League school or possesses unique abilities. While it’s natural to want to find someone exceptional, it’s important to remember that there’s no guarantee your child will inherit the traits you prioritize.

Genetics influence development, but as parents, you’ll play the biggest role in shaping who your child becomes. Ultimately, the best egg donor is someone who aligns with your holistic vision for your family.

Take the Next Step

After choosing an egg donor, you’re ready to create embryos. If you’re pursuing gestational surrogacy, the next step is to create your intended parent profile and fill out your surrogacy planning questionnaire. To get started, contact us online or call 1-800-875-BABY. Your journey to parenthood is just beginning!