When you are hoping to grow your family, an unsuccessful round of IVF—or more than one—can feel disheartening and leave you wondering what to do next.
If IVF isn’t working, don’t lose hope. There are other options that can help you have the family you’ve been dreaming of.
Find more information about surrogacy after IVF here. In this article, we will outline how to navigate the complicated emotions and options to consider as you continue to explore paths to parenthood.
The Emotions of Giving Up on IVF
The emotional and physical impact of a failed IVF cycle can be significant. If you were the one experiencing the IVF process, your body likely needs some time to recover as hormone levels rebalance and the physical side effects wear off.
You might feel a mix of frustration, sadness, and confusion, or a range of other emotions. These emotions are valid and part of the grieving process. Allow yourself time to grieve and process your feelings before deciding your next steps. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel and seek the support you need during this challenging time.
How to Move On from IVF
There is no need to rush yourself, or feel pressured to “move on” after a failed IVF cycle—it is best to take all of the time you need. But when you are ready, moving forward with your life can mean experiencing these steps:
- Allow Time to Grieve: It’s essential to give yourself time to process the emotions associated with IVF failure. This might involve talking through your feelings with loved ones or a counselor.
- Seek Support: Lean on your support system, whether it’s friends, family, or support groups. Connecting with others who have experienced similar challenges can provide comfort and practical advice. Online forums and local support groups can offer a sense of community and understanding.
- Reach Out for Professional Help: Consider talking to a therapist specializing in infertility or reproductive health. Professional counseling can help you navigate your emotions and develop coping strategies.
- Contact Us for Support: We offer specialized support services to help you process your feelings and explore next steps when you are considering surrogacy. Our team is here to provide guidance and assistance tailored to your situation. Get support here.
Practical Next Steps for Moving Forward after IVF
Schedule a meeting with your fertility specialist to discuss the failed IVF cycle. Prepare specific questions about what might have gone wrong and what steps can be taken to address any issues. This could include:
- What were the specific reasons for the IVF failure?
- Are there any changes or treatments recommended for future cycles?
- What other options do we have moving forward?
IVF is Not Working: What’s Next?
On the more practical side, you may be deciding whether to give up on IVF. This can be a difficult decision, but knowing your options can help you make an informed decision. Here are some alternative options when you are considering changing course.
Donor Options
If embryo quality or other factors are impacting success, using donor eggs or sperm might be considered. Donor options can offer a new path to achieving pregnancy.
- Egg donor: An egg donor allows you to use your own sperm if you do not have eggs with a high chance of becoming a pregnancy.
- Sperm donor: A sperm donor allows you to use your own eggs if you do not have sperm with a high likelihood of becoming a pregnancy.
- Embryo donor: An embryo donor can be used if you do not have embryos with a high likelihood of becoming a pregnancy.
In some cases, using donor eggs, sperm or embryo can increase your chances of becoming pregnant due to age or quality. Your medical history and your medical team can help you understand whether donor gametes or embryos may help you on your journey.
Surrogacy
Surrogacy may be a viable option if there are issues with carrying a pregnancy.
What is Surrogacy?
Surrogacy involves another person carrying the pregnancy for you, which can be beneficial if uterine issues or other health concerns are present. Surrogacy can provide a new chance for parenthood and be an effective solution if other methods have not succeeded.
Surrogacy involves choosing a surrogate who will carry the pregnancy using your embryos or donor embryos. This option can be especially useful if uterine abnormalities or health issues have affected previous IVF attempts.
If you have embryos from previous IVF attempts, you have a head start on the surrogacy process.
Find a Qualified Surrogate
Work with a reputable surrogacy agency to find a surrogate who meets health and legal criteria. Our agency can help with screening, legal agreements and medical procedures.
Learn more about creating embryos here, or contact us now if you have embryos—you can get matched within an average of 1 - 6 months.
Accepting IVF Failure and Moving Forward
Accepting that your IVF journey has ended can be difficult, but it can be a crucial step in moving forward when you and your family are ready to do so. Recognize that a failed IVF cycle doesn’t define your ability to become a parent.
It’s a moment in your journey, not the end of it. Acceptance can help you make informed decisions about alternative options and prepare for a new path forward.
Remember, the end of one chapter does not mean the end of your journey to parenthood. There are many paths to creating a family, and with support and careful consideration, you can find the right path.
If IVF isn’t working, it’s important to take time for yourself, seek support, and explore your options. Whether you choose to pursue further treatments, consider surrogacy, or explore adoption, remember that there are multiple ways to achieve your dream of parenthood.
Reach out for the support you need, and take the time to evaluate your next steps carefully. You are not alone, and there are resources and people ready to help you navigate this challenging time.
Moving on After Failed IVF: Frequently Asked Questions
How to move on from failed IVF?
Moving forward after unsuccessful IVF can mean different things to different people. For some, pursuing more rounds of IVF or fertility treatment may be the answer. If IVF is no longer an option, some families move to surrogacy. For some, adoption can be a beautiful next step. And for some families, focusing on self-care, seeking support, and finding other areas to focus on can help them move forward.
What are the odds of getting pregnant after failed IVF?
Many pregnancies occur in the second or third round of IVF. For couples who choose to discontinue fertility treatment, there is around a 25% chance of spontaneous pregnancy, usually 2-3 years after stopping treatment.
How to conceive naturally after failed IVF?
Getting pregnant naturally after failed IVF is possible, but it’s not always predictable. Some couples may choose to seek out medical treatments like ovarian stimulation drugs, lifestyle changes like diet and exercise, or increase their frequency of sexual activity.
Will I regret not doing IVF?
Some people have regret if they don’t pursue IVF treatments, while others don’t. Each person’s feelings about choosing to do IVF or not do IVF will be individual to their own experiences.