Coping with failed IVF emotions can be difficult, but there is help available, and there are paths forward.
It’s important to recognize the range of emotions you may experience in the face of unsuccessful IVF attempts so that you can move through them on your journey to parenthood.
Learn more about unsuccessful IVF attempts here.
In this article we will explore common emotions as well as advice on how to cope, where to seek support and other options available to you.
Understanding the Emotions After a Failed IVF Cycle
It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions throughout the process of IVF and afterwards. When IVF is unsuccessful, common emotions often include grief, depression, anxiety and anger. In some cases, IVF can also cause trauma, just as with other forms of loss.
Grief after IVF Failure
Grieving after IVF failure involves acknowledging the loss of not only the cycle itself but also the future you envisioned. This period of mourning can be deeply personal and varies for everyone. It's important to give yourself the space and time to process these feelings.
Allow yourself to grieve and understand that this process is a natural response to such a significant disappointment.
Coping with Grief After IVF Failure
While you may want to avoid feeling the emotions of grief, experiencing these emotions can be an important part of acknowledging the steps you have taken in your life. As you experience the emotions of grief after unsuccessful IVF, be sure to practice self-care and seek support from your family and friends. It can also be helpful to seek counseling.
Depression After Failed IVF
Experiencing sadness after an unsuccessful IVF attempt can be normal. Feelings of sadness, hopelessness and frustration can become overwhelming, and in some cases you can experience depression after failed IVF. It's essential to recognize these signs and seek appropriate support and treatment.
Dealing with Depression After Failed IVF
To cope with depression, consider reaching out to mental health professionals, joining support groups, or engaging in self-care practices. Therapy and counseling can provide valuable tools and strategies to manage symptoms of depression effectively.
Stress and Anxiety After Failed IVF
Stress and anxiety often accompanies the emotional aftermath of IVF failure. This anxiety can manifest as worry about future treatments, the impact on relationships, or general life stress.
If you're experiencing anxiety attacks after failed IVF treatments or your anxiety is affecting your daily life, it's crucial to seek immediate support. Techniques such as mindfulness, breathing exercises, and cognitive behavioral therapy can help manage these intense feelings.
Frustration and Anger After Failed IVF
Feeling angry after a failed IVF cycle is a natural response. You might be angry at yourself, your partner or even the process itself. Channeling this anger constructively can help you process these emotions without letting them overwhelm you.
If you’re angry after failed IVF, expressing your anger in a healthy way is key. Engage in activities that allow you to release pent-up frustration, such as physical exercise, creative outlets, or open conversations with supportive friends or family. If your anger becomes overwhelming or affects your daily life, talking to a trained professional can help you find effective ways of coping.
Addressing PTSD and Trauma
Failed IVF Trauma
In some cases, the experience of failed IVF cycles can lead to trauma or PTSD.
Repeated IVF failure can cause significant emotional trauma due to the high physical, financial and emotional stakes involved. Each IVF cycle carries hopes of achieving pregnancy, and when repeated IVF failure occurs, it can lead to feelings of loss, grief and inadequacy.
People undergoing IVF typically invest emotionally, physically, and financially in the process, and when it fails, it can feel like a personal loss.
If you find that the emotional impact of these failures is severe, professional help is crucial.
PTSD After Failed IVF
Repeated IVF failure can lead to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because the emotional toll of undergoing multiple treatments and dealing with repeated disappointments can be traumatic. IVF often involves physical and emotional stress, significant financial investment and a strong desire for success, much like the experience of a traumatic event.
Symptoms of IVF-related PTSD can include intrusive thoughts about the failures, avoiding anything related to IVF, emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from others. The uncertainty and loss of control over building a family can contribute to long-term distress, making it harder to move forward.
Seeking support from a mental health professional that specializes in trauma can provide relief and strategies to manage PTSD symptoms. Support groups and therapy can offer a safe space to explore and address these feelings.
How to Cope After Failed IVF
- Seek Support: Connecting with support groups and others who have experienced similar challenges can offer comfort and practical advice.
- Professional Help: Consider therapy or counseling to help navigate your emotional landscape and develop coping strategies.
- Self-Care: Prioritize activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies that bring you joy.
- Open Communication: Talk openly with your partner, family, or friends about your feelings and experiences.
Overcoming Failed IVF: What’s Next?
Encouragement and Hope
Remember that while the path after a failed IVF cycle can be challenging, it is also filled with potential. Many people find alternative routes to building their families or find new ways to heal and move forward.
Explore Other Options After Failed IVF
Embryo Donation: In some cases you can increase the chances of a successful pregnancy when you use donated embryos or donated egg or sperm to create an embryo. This can be due to age or the quality of the eggs and sperm.
Surrogacy: Surrogacy helps many couples increase the chances of a successful pregnancy with their own embryos. You can view our qualified surrogates here.
Each of these options offers a different path to achieving your dreams of parenthood. Discussing future options with your doctor can provide clarity on next steps. You can also learn about your options from our surrogacy specialists.
Resources to Explore Surrogacy after Failed IVF
If surrogacy is something you’re interested in, you can get information now and get matched in an average of 1 - 6 months.
You can also read our various guides to the surrogacy process, finding a surrogate, costs and more.
- Surrogacy after Failed IVF
- How Does Surrogacy Work?
- Find a Surrogate
- How Much Does Surrogacy Cost?
- Surrogacy Contracts
Navigating the emotional terrain of a failed IVF cycle is undeniably tough, but with the right support and coping strategies, you can find a path forward that aligns with your goals and offers hope for the future.
Coping with IVF Failure: [FAQ]
How to cope when IVF fails?
When IVF is unsuccessful, you may experience grief and the many emotions that come with it. Taking one day at a time and centering yourself on your positive self-care habits as you process your grief, as well as seeking support, can help you make it through as you cope with unsuccessful IVF.
What are the stages of grief after failed IVF?
The stages of grief after failed IVF can include emotions like denial, shock, anger, frustration, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but each person’s experience will be different. Some people may only experience some of the emotions, or may take different amounts of time to move from one stage to another.
How to emotionally deal with IVF?
If you are struggling emotionally with IVF, the best thing you can do is reach out and get support from family, friends, or a therapist. You can also do things like improve communication, acknowledge your own feelings, and practice self-care.
What are the side effects of a failed IVF?
Unsuccessful IVF can have both physical and mental side effects, including hormonal withdrawal symptoms, irregular periods, mood swings, cramping, bloating, nausea, vomiting, and headaches.